


False Starts and Fast Hearts

by ahhfic



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Also the becca/clark is very minor, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Get Together, Grizz has general anxieties throughout it, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, also a kind of spoilers for the movie Us is mentioned, also shitting on Riverdale, au where theres no au, but that mainly bc we didnt really get to see what kind of classes he was in, but theres plenty of references to it, cursing, everyone's 18, maybe a little bit of ooc in grizz, mostly hinted at, shameless mentions of my fav tv shows, so i made him an Ag nerd, sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-12 19:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 42,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20569541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahhfic/pseuds/ahhfic
Summary: This is basically my version of an Au where they don't end up in New Ham.This fic follows Grizz as he becomes friends with Sam during a camping trip where they're tent mates, and then ultimately more as time goes.





	1. Last Week of March

**Author's Note:**

> I actively chose to write a 40k+ fic involving things I never experienced myself, including but not limited to: class camping trips, getting high, prom, and graduation. So a lot of this stuff is based on what I’ve seen in real life and in movies and it probably shows. This is basically an au where they do not turn around and go back home and go camping as planned. So basically disregard canon’s timeline. Also, I wrote this in Grizz’s perspective, any opinions that might be offensive in this are not my own views or whatever. Please reads the tags for the warnings. Also, sex is mentioned but never goes into detail, cause I’m vague like that. 
> 
> Really the only thing you need to know going into this is: I don’t know that much sign language. I know you don’t actually sign every word or in order the same you talk, right? Or at least that’s what I learned the few months I tried learning it years ago. But for simplicity’s sake for reading it, I written the ‘only sign’ dialogue in the regular way of speaking. These parts are bolded. 
> 
> This fic is 1/3s character study of Grizz. Another third of the Grizz+The Guard dynamics and another third of the Grizz/Sam romance, all mixed and baked into a beautiful pie so. (That's a She Used to Be Mine reference.) It's taken me a little under two months to write and edit this, so it’s kind of become my baby rn. That being said, I’m sick of looking at it. 
> 
> So here, have the first half of it. (Second half is still in the editing process, should be up soon tho.)
> 
> Disclaimer: I did not create these characters, I’m just borrowing them. Also there is a few dialogue from the show reused in this but like in different scenarios. If you’ve seen the show, you’ll which dialogue when you come to it. But it’s only few, don’t worry. No money was made making this. Wrote purely for my own entertainment and decided to share it with you guys, so here you go.
> 
> (If you are interested in things like my thought process when I was writing this, that's in the end notes.)

If there was an alternate universe out there where his friends weren’t The Guard, Grizz would love to go there. Or if they could all (except maybe Luke) fall ill right now, thus exempting them from this camping trip, that’d be great too. He knows it’s a horrible thought to have about your own friends, but right now it feels justified, because he is freaking the hell out.

Unfortunately, none of that’s just going to magically fuckin’ happen. It is six in the morning, when he arrives with his buddies to the spot in town where the class will be filed into busses. As he steps up on the bus, Jason behind him, Clark in front, the two arguing about mundane shit as far as he’s concerned, a wave of dread rolls through him. Like literally, his stomach drops for like the fifteenth time since yesterday. The cause of this one in particular? Well, he happens to be sitting on the same bus it turns out. Grizz takes a deep breath before he can move again. No one seems to notice Grizz’s inner turmoil as everyone is too busy taking selfies with their seat mate or going back to sleep. A headache is forming in the back of his head from the lack of sleep last night.

To clarify, he’ll be camping with his classmates in the Great Smoky Mountains. Like actual camping. None of that glamping you see in movies where they have RVs or campers with air conditioning or cabins. Just the mountains of forest land and a river near by where they’ll be posted.

Grizz loves camping. He loves the outdoors and shit. It’s just the tent arrangement that’s got him fucked up at the moment. He was actually looking forward to this for the past month, but for the past day he’s been considering faking sickness himself.

To fully understand, he’ll need to take you back to yesterday morning in the auditorium.

~

“This sucks balls,” Clarks gripes from his seat beside Grizz in the auditorium. “Why are they even making us come in on the morning before the trip?” 

Coming from Clark’s other side, Luke complains, “Yeah, like why couldn’t they have just emailed us the list or tell us tomorrow morning?” 

Grizz groans, salty about this too. “They’re probably going to give us the no sex, drugs, and alcohol talk too. Again.” He doesn’t understand why they’ve made this meeting mandatory. Like they could’ve just sent the tent arrangement lists with the chaperones when they head out tomorrow. And do they really expect teenagers hours away from their parents, to really obey the rules?

It is dark in the auditorium. The only light coming from the walkways on the sides that frame the seats and a few lights above the stage shining on the spot where he guesses whoever’s going to be speaking to them will stand. There’s not even a teacher in sight even though it’s Friday and other grades still have class today. More students trickle in, filling up the first three rows. Jason is slouched in his chair, asleep. Grizz is nodding off himself until he notices Becca and Sam sit down in front of them. Now, he is very much awake and starring at the back of Sam’s head for a minute before he catches himself and looks away. 

Their principal, who looks like he regrets every choice he’s ever made in his life, finally enters. He spends the next twenty minutes quickly going over the rules and guidelines. Then he hands out pamphlets on poison ivy and other shit to look out for. There’s a very half-assed speech on having a buddy system that for most of the students there, goes right through one ear and out the other. Then he hands out two binders that has the tent arrangements in it. And this when the students finally act interested, all wanting to know who they’ll be bunking with. After that, their principal doesn’t stick around and leaves before anyone can ask him questions. He’s not what you call a friendly principal. A no nonsense kind of guy. Sometimes he can be a real hard ass. It’s still shocking to Grizz that he even agreed to let this trip happen. 

When Grizz and his friends get a hold of one of the binders, they hover over him as he flicks through it. First thing he notices is it’s five to six people to a tent. These must be some pretty good sized tents the National Park Service are providing then. As he searches for his name, he notices there’s not really any rhyme or reason to how they grouped the students, except girls with girls and boys with boys. 

When he finds his name, it’s under the heading Tent 13. That should’ve have been his first clue. The unlucky number, a bad omen. As he reads the names of the classmates he’ll be bunking with, a sort of calm before the storm takes over him.

The names are: Clark Beecher, Gareth Visser, Jason Alvarado, Sam Eliot, and Luke Holbrook. Depending on who you ask, this is either a best case scenario (Luke, Clark, Jason) because The Guard is rooming together or a worst case scenario (Grizz) because hello, how is rooming with the guy you have a thing for for the past year a good one? It’s like they put their coach up to making this list and put his favorite players together and pulled a name out of a hat for the fifth one. Grizz doesn’t even have a second where he’s excited that the Guard are all together. That fifth name sticks out like a nail in a tire. Grizz being the tire, deflating as he thinks of all the possible scenarios of his friends embarrassing him in front of Sam for the week to come. 

Well, whoever made this dumbass list, Grizz would like to fucking talk to them. 

“Hey, look at that. We’ll be roomies!” Clark jostles his shoulder, “Who’s Sam Eliot though?”

The mention of her best friend’s name grabs Becca’s attention as she turns around and eyes Clark coolly. Sam, Grizz notices when he finally tears his away from the list, is slouched in his chair now. Becca taps him on his shoulder and his head picks up to look at her but she is looking back at Clark again. “This is Sam Eliot,” She signs while saying this.

Sam twists in his seat and smiles in greeting to them.

“Oh hey, dude. Looks like you’re bunking with The Guard.” Clark says ‘The Guard’ suavely like they’re fucking James Bond characters and gestures to him, the still sleeping Jason, and Luke on his other side. 

Sam’s eyes flit over them, as he takes stock of us like he’s never seen us before. His gaze finds it’s way back to Grizz, but Grizz is too much of wuss to hold it for too long. He averts his eyes back to his lap where the list is. He hands it down the row past Jason. 

Becca signs something to Sam that goes over Grizz’s head but it seems to be a funny thing for Sam cracks a smile and a silent laugh escapes. Grizz focuses on acting chill while his attention is on them, keeping his breath even, slouches in his seat. Though his fingers betray him as he absentmindedly taps on his thighs. 

Becca asks them, “Why do you call yourselves The Guard?” Thus enables Clark to explain their silly ass group name. Grizz isn’t really paying attention, the words: Sam. Tent. The Guard. Sam. Same Tent. As The Guard, playing over in his mind. The sounds and words said around him are not registering anymore until Clark is bumping a fist against his shoulder. 

He snaps out of it. “Huh?”

“Dude, everybody’s leaving.” People are getting up and making their way out the exits. Sam and Becca are gone too. How long did he zone out?

“Oh,” Grizz mumbles as he stands, his stomach not feeling so well.

~

Okay, here’s the situation with Sam Eliot: there really isn’t one, first thing. He’s never said a word to the guy though he has the most embarrassing crush on him since junior year. At the beginning of senior year, he vowed to himself he’d at least talk to the guy. But it’s late March now and he’s not fulfilled this personal goal. He clams up every time the opportunity presents itself and before he knows it, the moments passed. He’s been in classes with Sam, sometimes even sitting two feet away from him, yet he’s never even said hi. And Grizz is not a shy person. He’s friends with practically everybody. His classmates love him. But with Sam, he feels and probably seems like a whole other Grizz around him. Which is one of the roots in his current worries. He hopes that his friends will not pick up on it this week, because then he’d have to explain himself. 

~

The game plan is he wants to wait till he leaves for college to come out. His reasoning: he’s played the stereotypical straight jock that likes to get high and do crazy shit for so long, why shouldn’t he see it through till the end of his high school career? But if he’s being just a little bit honest, the thought of his peers, people he grew up with, knowing is a little scary. So the plan was to start over in college. 

But lately, like the past few months, he’s been getting a more ‘don’t give a shit’ attitude towards it all. (Probably graduating soon is the cause to these feelings.) So very recently, Grizz has started thinking he doesn’t really give a shit if they find out he’s gay. They’re going to eventually, right? No, what he’s more worried about is if his secret were to come out _now_ and if they knew he liked Sam, the possibility of his friends wing manning him would be disastrous. There are other less embarrassing, more heart breaking outcomes, but he doesn’t spend too much time thinking about those, because then he’d never get any sleep.

~

Back to the present, Grizz sits down beside Jason which is the metaphorical nail in the coffin, sealing his fate that he’s going. He thinks hard about it in the span of the five minutes it takes for them to do a head count in all buses. If he doesn’t go, then that means Sam and The Guard alone, and that’s an even worse scenario in his mind. 

Jason is shuffling through his bag. “Shit, I forgot my headphones.” Grizz gets his out for him to borrow. He’d like to listen to music on the way too, but he only brought two battery chargers with him and music drains it pretty bad. 

“Here, bro.” He tosses them on his lap and rests his head against the seat. There’s an overcast this morning, so it’s cool and a little dark. The lack of sleep is finally getting to him. He watches Jason scroll through his Spotify playlists, making fun of the names in his head. He’s falls asleep for the first half of the twelve hour drive. Meaning when he wakes up just after noon, while he’s feeling refreshed, everyone else is starting to look sluggish, their excitement finally waning a little. People in his bus start to drop like flies, including his friends. Sam and Becca are sitting too far ahead for him to really see what they’re doing, but their heads are crouched down between them. So he figures they're probably asleep too. Grizz uses this time, while it’s quiet to read from his current obsession, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s books. The sleep has definitely helped him relax just a little. There’s still a hefty amount of dread hovering above him though.

The bus ride is mostly uneventful and when they arrive at camp, the sun’s already set so it should be around 8 o’clock. Camp consists of two rows of tents divided by a dirt walkway. A bathhouse that’s definitely seen better days is at the front where the buses parked. The walkway ends before a giant pavilion with rows of picnic tables. The path is lit by a few light posts, but other than that it’s really dark out here. 

The National Park Service has provided sandwiches and chips for the first night’s dinner. They are passed out as people make their way down the dirt walkway to find their tents to drop off their bags. Since it’s late, a few people enter their tent and don’t come back out. Most people head to sit under the pavilion to eat. Grizz finds Tent 13 near the end and enters it to find Luke already there. The tents are good sized and remind him of the kind military people use in movies. The beds are even forest green cots. They are simply lined in a row with about a foot of space in between. They make him think he’s at a boot camp, which he chuckles about out loud as he sets his stuff down on the one in the middle. It creaks under the weight on his bag. “Dude, how are we supposed to sleep on these things?” Luke tentatively sits down on his cot to test the durability of it. He bounces a little and then lays down, his feet hanging off at the bottom. “That’s going to be fucking annoying. Think they got bigger ones?” He stands back up just to glare at it.

Jason unsurprisingly tosses his bag in the tent and lands with a thump on the ground before he takes off, following his girlfriend to the pavilion. Luke huffs as he picks up their friend’s bag and sets it on the cot beside his on the far left. Which leads to the realization that his other friend has not stopped by yet. Clark better get his ass here soon and choose the cot beside his, because if bunking with Sam wasn’t enough, sleeping not even two feet away will literally kill him. Like this is his year long crush we’re talking about here. The guy he’s been pining after since he came out, and Grizz admired that about him, his bravery. 

But before that can even happen, Sam enters the tent, hair rumpled and drowsy eyes, which is a damn good look on him that Grizz has never been graced to see. Grizz involuntarily holds his breath. He chooses the cot next to Grizz and goes about splaying his sleeping bag over it. Grizz doesn’t realize he’s just blatantly watching him, (See? This is what he was afraid of.) sitting on his own cot, till Sam glances over at him and he nods his head in greeting. He internally squirms as the idea of having Sam’s attention, even for a few seconds leaves him wishing for more. (Another thing he’s afraid of.) His nervous ticks take over as one ankle jiggles and his hand automatically finds it’s way in his bangs to tuck it behind his ear. He goes to say hi, his mouth moves, but no sound comes out. Sam doesn’t seem to notice that, but Luke does as he lifts an eyebrow at his friend. Ah, shit. Grizz better start acting chill before Luke ponders any longer about this. He’s the one he’s most worried about because he’s more perspective than the other two. He pulls his phone out and turns it on to text his mom he’s made it to camp. When that’s done, he finally remembers his sandwich and picks it back up. Should he eat here or at the pavilion? Sam seems to be staying in for the night as he sits down on his own cot and unwraps his own sandwich and Grizz is feeling too self conscious to eat in front of him right now. 

He gives a head nod to Luke, whose still has a keen eye on him that Grizz ignores, before he leaves. But not before he trips on the threshold somehow. Luke and Sam burst out laughing behind him.

At the pavilion, he sits with Allie and Will. They’re talking about tomorrow’s main activity which is a two mile hike in the woods. “It’s not going to be just trees, Allie. There’s supposed to be like a waterfall, an outlook area, and a swinging bridge. You have to go,” Will pleads to her. “Grizz, tell her she has to go.”

“He’s right. You have to go.” He tucks into his sandwich which kind of soggy but it’s food and he’ll take it. “All the chaperones are going, so you can’t stay here by yourself.” He’s talking with his mouth full but so what, there’s no one here to impress, since Sam’s still in their tent. 

“Alright, I’ll go, but don’t expect me not to complain the whole way.” 

“Why’d you even come if you didn’t want to do the fun shit?” Will asks the same time Grizz jokes, “Oh, now I remember why I brought my headphones.” He laughs when his comment finally registers, and she smacks him on the shoulder. 

“I came because my sister did,” She finally answers. Grizz has always liked the Pressman sisters. Anyone could tell they truly had each other’s backs. Even when Cassandra ran for student body president and won against Harry, a dude that Allie was crushing on last year. And Allie always looked out for her ever since her heart surgery. And Grizz really admired that about them. Made him wish he had siblings. 

~

He washes his face in the bathhouse before he heads back to his tent. There are still a few students at the pavilion, probably waiting it out till the last minute before curfew at 10:30 p.m. 

Jason and Luke are already asleep. Clark digs through his backpack until he pulls out a phone charger. Sam is still up and is momentarily watching Clark too. He glances over at Grizz to share a brief look of ‘what the hell is this guy doing?’ Grizz, who is still standing in front of the tent entrance like an idiot, blinks in surprise at such a look being bestowed upon by him. Sam clears his throat before he addresses to Clark, “Where are you plugging that in?” 

Clark turns around, a little startled at the sudden unfamiliar voice in their tent. He blinks at Sam, who is sitting on his cot with his feet under his blanket. “In an outlet, duh.” Clark looks around the tent, searching, and then realization making it’s way home.

“Wait, are they serious? How can they not provide any outlets for us? That’s like diabolical. Don’t they know we can’t live without our phones? What if we have to look up what to do for a snake bite?” Clark says a little to loudly, which stirs Luke up. He looks over at the three still awake on the other side. “Dude, shut the fuck up. I’m trying to sleep.” 

Grizz snaps out of the spot he’s in, finally wills his feet to move, and towards Clark. He pats his friend on the shoulder. “Okay, one, we have chaperones for any emergencies like that. And two, you might can find one at the pavilion, bro. But I’d probably do it the morning. Curfew’s in ten and raccoons were lurking near by when I left.” He smirks at him before he turns to go back to his cot. Sam is watching him, he notices, and it distracts him enough that he trips on own feet, and ungracefully lands on it. Fuck his life. Of course this happens in front of Sam.

A hesitant yet soft laugh that is definitely not Clark’s honking one sounds from beside him. Grizz is too embarrassed to face him directly but does sit up and stare at his own lap. Courage. He just needs a little bit of it to say something but he can’t find any. They could totally joke about this. And laugh at Grizz’s expense but nothing makes it pass his tongue. Also his toe still hurts like a bitch. He rubs at it and Sam surprises him again when he says, “That’s like the second time I’ve seen you trip over nothing. How are you even good at sports?” Which makes Clark burst out in his hideous honking laugh, and Luke sits up now, looking like he’s contemplating murder, glaring at him from his cot. He throws his pillow at Clark’s head and cuts off his laughter.

“Jeez, what crawled up your ass?” Clark grumbles as he tosses the pillow back to him. 

Jason, who everybody thought was asleep, chimes in with a, “He’s moody because Helena’s not here.” 

Luke gapes at him. “I’m not moody. I’m tired. Night, douchebags.” He flips over to face the tent wall and pulls his cover over his head.

Grizz turns back to Sam and Clark. Sam’s looking at him. Here’s a another chance. Come on. Say something, Gareth. 

He swallows hard and nods at him. “He’s moody,” He mouths to him, not wanting Luke to hear him. Sam has a really nice smile. He already knew this. But seeing it this close and directed at him is something else to experience. 

Grizz can’t believe his luck. He’s made Sam laugh at him but also smile in the span of five minutes. His brain short circuits and convinces him to come up with something else to say while he can. Apparently that something is doing the only sign he knows. Sam looks at him funny after. 

“It’s the only sign I know,” Grizz finally uses his fucking voice and shrugs. On Sam’s other side, Clark groans as he falls face first on his cot. His phone charger lying forgotten on top of his bag. 

“I can read lips.” Sam is so soft spoken it takes Grizz to strain forward to hear him. 

He leans back. “Oh, I know.” Grizz nods and gets in his sleeping bag and tucks the blanket under his head for now. Sadly his feet do hang off a little. He acts like he’s going to sleep, lying on his back with his eyes closed, because one, he didn’t know what the fuck to say after that. Two, his friend’s are there to bare witness if Grizz makes an ass out of himself. And three, he didn’t want to know what Luke would throw next if he continued talking.

Sam turns off the battery powered lantern that’s set on the only table surface(which is a milk crate) in the tent between their cots. 

Much to Grizz’s relief, the first night actually went pretty okay besides the couple times he embarrassed himself. His friends seem cool with Sam in their space and with the tent pitch black, he can’t really see that Sam is only two feet away, so that helps. He uses his last remaining minutes awake to reflect on the day and thinks maybe there was no need to worry so much. Because hey, he’s finally fulfilled that first goal in actually talking to Sam. He starts to make a mental list of more.

~ 

In the morning, he is abruptly awaken by his friend’s obnoxious shouting as they’re changing clothes. Sam is still peacefully sleeping. It must be nice, to be able to sleep through their yelling. He fucking hates his friends sometimes. And no, he’s not being melodramatic. It’s like 6 a.m. and these dudes (Clark and Jason) are loudly complaining to each other about the lack of outlets, but there’s also a side argument happening between Luke and Clark, namely Luke berating him for leaving the tent flap open last night. Hence, mosquitoes got in, and Luke is scratching his legs like crazy. Grizz is getting more irritated by the minute. They could have done this outside the tent and Grizz could’ve slept another hour before needing to get up.

He groans as he picks his head up from face planting back into his pillow earlier. He’s not going to able to go back to sleep. Once he’s up he’s up for at least the next six hours.

He quickly brushes hair and due to it being a little oily from not washing it last night, he pulls the longer pieces that can hold in a ponytail on top of his head. He changes into another pair of sweat pants and tee and pulls his hoodie back on. He figures pants will be best for the hike in case they come across poison ivy or thorns. And it’s probably better protection from like, mosquitos. Also just because it’s spring, doesn’t mean the chill of winter has completely left.

His friends all pull on shorts. Grizz is not surprised.

“I’m just saying, they could’ve fucking warned us about that instead all that bullshit talk about wild animals and shit.” Clark gripes as he pouts on his bed. 

“Dude, it’s a fucking camp, you did you expect?” Luke grumbles as he pulls on his shoes. 

Grizz could be a good friend right now. He could give him one of the portable phone chargers he’s packed just so it’ll shut him up. But in retaliation to being rudely woken up, he stays silent. For now. He’ll probably cave eventually.

Grizz’s weakness: Being perpetually giving.

“Why are you guys even fucking up at this god forsaken hour?” He complains as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.

The three look at him like he’s the only one that didn’t get a memo or something. “Dude, we’re usually always up at this hour for a run.”

“So you’re going running now?”

“Nah, taking a break while we’re camping.” Jason answers. It only pisses Grizz off more. 

“Which brings me back to my question, why are you guys up right now?”

Jason shrugs and makes a snide remark about being a lazy ass. It only fuels Grizz’s fire and the two argue back and forth for a minute until Luke steps in. He places a placating hand on Grizz’s shoulder. “Alright, cut the shit. Grizz, we’ll be more quiet for now on.”

Jason looks like he has more to say, but refrains and rolls his eyes at them. Out of all friends, Jason is the one he clashes with the most.

Luke claps his hands together, which is a sign of his that means he’s going into his pep talk mode, one he went into quite frequently in football season. There’s a reason he’s viewed as ‘the leader’ of The Guard. He is the glue that keeps them together. If Luke wasn’t in the picture, Grizz probably would’ve never been friends with Jason and maybe even Clark. “Now, we may have all woken up on the wrong side of bed this morning, but that doesn’t mean the day’s gone to shit. Let’s go check out what’s for breakfast. We got a hike to look forward to.”

They collectively nod their heads in agreement. Jason gives Grizz an apologetic look, his eyes show that’s it genuine. Grizz bites the inside of cheek and pats his friend on the shoulder and rests his hand there after. His way of showing he forgives him and is also sorry. 

Sam stirs awake before they head out. Grizz watches as his eyes slowly open and find his. He’s too fucking cute for his own good. Grizz doesn’t know he’s biting his lip as an X-rated thought forms in his head. It’s too fucking early for this. Grizz needs a minute to shame himself for thinking such things about him right there in front of him and his best friends. Grizz swallows hard as he looks away from Sam and it must have been audible, because Luke gives him a perplexed look. “Let’s go see what they got for breakfast, bro.” He’s addressing Grizz, but he doesn’t know it. He’s too busy staring at his shoes and scolding himself. Luke bops him on the head.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” He looks back at Sam, who is sitting up now. 

Luke does too and offers, “You should come join us, if you want.”

Which is basically Luke’s way of saying that he’s thinks Sam is cool enough to chill with them. Not that it matters to Grizz, but it’s certainly nice to know. 

Grizz nods to Sam, which he’s doing a lot of head nodding at him, he’s needs to stop. He stupidly unnecessarily says, “Yeah.”

Sam smiles at them, “Okay.” 

Clark and Jason walk ahead of them as they make their way to the pavilion where chaperones are setting out those little bowls of cereal and milk. He’s not going to mention the little looks Luke sends his way every know and then. It’s like his eyes are imploring him. He doesn’t know what for though, so he ignores him.

“Where the hell are they storing the milk?” Jason asks as they sit down.

Grizz pulls off the plastic cover to his cinnamon toast crunch. “Dude, that tent right there is like an outdoor kitchen.” He points at the last tent on the girl’s side. 

Clark literally gasps, “You think there’s an outlet in there I could use?” 

“Probably. There are wires from the light post going into it,” Luke points out.

Clark looks at the tent very determinedly. “I’m gonna go check it out.” He starts to stand up.

“You gonna get kicked out. I don’t think we’re allowed in there.” Grizz knows it useless to warn him.

Clark mocks him, repeating his words in a tiny voice. They watch as their friend enters the tent only to be promptly shoed out. He seems scared as he scurries back to their table. 

“Dude, Francis is in there.” And that explains it. Francis is Mr. Francis, the chemistry teacher who hates Clark and Jason’s guts for just being general shitheads in the labs. Grizz doesn’t blame him; they were shitheads who blew off assignments and talked back. “He gave me the most threatening look like,” Clark narrows his eyes at them and his lips curl in a menacing way, “I didn’t even get a look to see if there was any outlets.” He sighs. “Gonna try again later when Francis ain’t in there.”

“What do you got to do on your phone that is so important it can’t wait a few days?”

“Okay, one, it’s not just a few days, Luke. It’s six days. Two, Gwen likes to text before we go to sleep.”

Grizz is not really paying attention anymore. He’s too busy watching Sam once he sees him walking down the dirt path to the pavilion. His eyes follow as he gets breakfast and sits down next to Becca who leans against his side. 

God, he wish that were him. 

So Sam’s decided to sit with his own friend, instead of taking Luke’s offer to join them. Which is totally fine, but he kind of hoped he would. He must look like he’s in pain or something because Jason snaps his fingers in front of him. “Dude, are you okay?” He turns to look at what he was staring at. Grizz bites his lip as he dreads what he’ll say. 

“Do you got problem with our tent mate, bud?”

Well, that definitely wasn’t what he was thinking he’d say, but somehow it’s even worse. “Shit, no. No, Sam’s cool.”

They’re all looking at him now, waiting for more from him, Luke especially with big eyes, which what the fuck is that look for? He’s for sure onto him. Grizz needs to cool it with the staring.

“I,” Fuck, he stutters, “I was just staring off. Sam just happened to be what I was looking at.”

Jason seems to buy that as he starts shoving cereal back into mouth. Luke is still looking at him, fuck. Grizz ignores him again and determinedly finishes his bowl without another glance at Sam.

The chaperones hand out protein bars and water bottles for everyone to carry. Grizz stuffs his in Luke’s drawstring bag he’s carrying. Good friends carry your shit for you and also don’t confront you on your bullshit until you’re ready. That’s what makes Luke his best friend. 

He’s aware Luke knows something is up with him. Maybe not specifically, but he’s knows in general Grizz has got a problem he’s not sharing. 

~

Gwen’s fucked off with her friends to the front while Clark hangs back with Grizz and Luke. 

“Dude, I don’t know what the fuck her problem is. Lately, she keeps blowing me off.” Clark kicks at the dirt of the trail as they walk along with the class. The swinging bridge is their first destination.

“Maybe she’s just wanting to hang out with her friends on the trip,” Luke suggests, “Maybe she needs space or something.”

“Yeah, well, she’s been acting like this since February.” Clark sighs like he’s giving up. “I don’t think she’s really into me anymore.”

“That sucks, bro.” Grizz tries to console him. “Maybe talk to her about it later. Can’t hurt.”

Clark nods, but he’s still frowning, “Yeah.” He looks up from his sulking and his expression changes into one of interest. “Hey, Becca!” He shouts and Grizz realizes she and Sam are a few yards ahead of them. Oh God, what’s he doing now?

Becca stops on the trail and turns around to them, her arms cross in front of her chest. “What do you want?” Sam has stopped also and is turned to them too. Grizz stops dragging his feet and he laces his fingers in front of him to keep him from stupidly waving.

“We’re going swimming and Grizz is going to try to fish in the river after lunch.” He swings an arm around Grizz, who stumbles from being jostled around. Which is true, he did bring a fishing pole and fishing gear. “You guys should join us.” 

Becca doesn’t seem too excited about it, scratch that, she’s just looks annoyed, probably from being stopped. She begins to sign while she says, “Sorry, but-“

But Sam rests a hand on her arm. She turns to him and he signs something to her. Grizz doesn’t know what it means but he tries to memorize the movements anyway. Becca’s lips purse as she signs again to him. Grizz really wishes he knew what they were saying. Him and his friends stand there awkwardly as they continue doing this for a few more seconds. 

Becca sighs, resigned as she finally says out loud while signing it too, “Okay, we’ll be there.” Sam has a small smile and fuck, if Grizz wasn’t infatuated with it before, he is now.

They turn back around and head forward back to Gordie and Bean. 

He’s kind of nervous to see Sam again when they go fishing. Like he knows his friends aren’t really going for that. They’ll most likely fuck off to go swimming, and then Grizz will be left alone with Sam and Becca. Which is kind of a little scary. As in Becca kind of scares him a little.

What if they find Grizz boring? Or what if Becca decides to swim and then it’s just him and Sam all alone? Then he’s sure to make an ass out of himself somehow. He’ll probably say something stupid or scare Sam away with his freakish behavior he seems to only have around him.

Sam makes his mind get all jumbled, his train of thought derailing into ‘what if’ territory which is a bitch to get out of.

~

They get to the swinging bridge, which is Grizz’s favorite thing to see so far. The river banks here are elevated about ten feet from the water and it’s not a big bridge by any means, but it has character. It’s made of wood and rope and it’s even arches down in the middle. There is vines trailing on the ground toward the bridge wrapped around the rope on each ends and the chipped paint on the planks was probably a vivid blue at some point but weather and time has paled them. 

Someone askes one of the chaperones if they can jump off it since it’s not a huge jump and the river is deep enough, but since there’s really no way to climb out close by, they’re told not to. The trail continues on the other side of the river so they cross over on the bridge single file. A few planks seem to creak under pressure but none break on them. The temperature is rising, making Grizz wish he’d of wore shorts now.

Grizz meets up with Allie and Will for a little bit and takes selfies with them. When they finally reach the waterfall, which is really just a natural spring from a creek higher up the mountain that dumps into the river, it’s a puny little thing. Most grab handfuls of water and throw it at their friends and a few dumbasses drink from it, even when they’re advised not to. It’s cold and it feels really good against his hands so Grizz takes out his ponytail and sticks his head under to cool his face and neck. He shakes his hair out at Allie, which makes her laugh and tries to block the spray with her hands. 

“Grizz! Stop!” She’s still laughing. Grizz stops though. He lets his hair hang free to air dry as the class head back to camp. 

~

Back at camp, Grizz changes into some basketball shorts because the temps really picked up now. He also has a chaperone grab his fishing pole he stored in the bus. It’s an average sized pole with an open reel. One you’d use for trout fishing. He’s been fishing before with his grandpa when he was still alive, but that’s been a couple years and he hasn’t gone since.

Others seem to have the same idea, hanging around the river. Mrs. Rooney, their English teacher is there, sitting in the shade, watching them. She’s Grizz’s favorite teacher and he’s glad she came on this trip. 

Him and Luke join up with Clark and Jason who are already swimming. Becca and Sam are not there yet, but Grizz still has hope they’ll show up, even though he’s nervous about it.

“Is there even any fish in this water?” Luke asks.

“Of course, there’s fish in here, you dope. It’s one of the park’s most attracting features, the fishing.” Grizz sets his small tackle box down on a boulder and baits his hook with a neon yellow power bait. The hook he’s using is barbless. That way if he catches one, it’s easier to remove and throw it back, since they are only allowed to do catch and release. 

“Helena’s been texting me this morning about the smell.” Luke sits down beside his tackle as Grizz goes to cast out. “She thinks they’ve finally figured it out. A major sewage line broke and it’s been seeping underground all over the main part of town.” Grizz’s nose scrunches at that. That’s gross.

“They should have it fixed by the time we get back. Thank God.” 

“Why did Helena have to stay behind?” He hasn’t thought to ask until now.

“Her parents didn’t want her to be so far away from them with me also being here,” Luke says, and he’s frowning down at his flip flops. “I kind of feel guilty. If we weren’t dating, maybe she could’ve come. She would’ve liked it here.”

He gives his friend a sympathetic smile, “If it helps, I think her parents would have made her stayed home regardless.” Helena and her family are so reserved and religious, it first surprised Grizz when she and Luke started dating freshman year, because he sure Helena didn’t think about things like dating. But they’re a good fit for each other; they balance each other out. 

“Hey, this is random, but can I ask you something?” Luke seems to have forgotten about Helena now, looking at Grizz, waiting. He looks determined, his mouth curved in a straight line, but also kind of hesitant, like how it takes him longer than necessary to finally ask. He stands up and joins Grizz by the river bank and starts to pick up rocks to throw in river. It must be about something serious if he’s taking this long.

“Hey, you’re gonna scare away fish.” Which Grizz completely forgot about the pole in his hands since Luke brought up the town’s smell. He reels in his line to recast.

Luke finally says it, which Grizz should of known was coming just not this soon, “So Sam?” Is all he says, like he afraid to assume any more than that and watches Grizz.

Grizz blinks and decides to play it cool, unknowingly reeling in faster, which just shows Luke how not chill he is at the mention of Sam. “What about Sam?”

Luke shuffles beside him, scratching his head. “Is there something going on with you two?” It feels like a loaded question, hitting Grizz right in the stomach. His first thought is: Luke definitely knows. Knows he’s gay or at least bi. Knows about his feelings for Sam. “It’s just every time we invite him to hang out, you look pissed or anxious or something. Idk, you’re sometimes hard to read, buddy.”

Grizz has two options: He could play it off. Make some bullshit excuse. Or just out right deny. Or, (and this makes it really hard to do the first one. Luke is his most closest friend; he’s never really lied about important shit to him. He’s been a good friend to Grizz so far. Why wouldn’t he be about this? 

So he makes his decision; he goes with the truth. “No, there’s nothing going on between me and Sam.” Damn it, his voice betrayed him. He couldn’t sound more disappointed about something even if he tried. 

Luke’s eyebrows practically join his hairline. He’s finally making eye contact with him. It’s hard for Grizz to hold it when his friend could be thinking anything right now. “But,” He hesitates, “But you want there to be?” He sounds eager for Grizz to agree, which throws him off a little. Definitely not what he was expecting. “Or something like that? Right?” 

Grizz’s eye flit back and forth to Luke and the water. He bites his lip (a horrible habit of his) before admitting, “Something like that.” It comes out shaky and difficult to swallow after. He finally admitted it out loud and to someone. The following first few seconds are scary as hell to him, but Luke doesn’t seem fazed at all. His eyes could literally pop out of his skull right now. He slaps Grizz on the back which he was definitely not expecting. “Bro!” 

This kind of reaction was not one he prepared for and he stands there, not knowing what to say or do next.

He, thankfully, exclaims in a more quiet voice, so the other two don’t hear, “Wait. So are you gay or like, curious?” 

“Uh,” Grizz swallows, “Gay. Please don’t tell Clark or Jason. I don’t want them knowing. At least not right now.”

“You got it, bro,” Luke assures him, still clapping his back, “Huh. So you like Sam. He’s gay, ain’t he? Why haven’t you made a move?”

Grizz is getting more flustered the longer they keeping talking about this, sure that his face is red. “I’m trying, dog. Its fucking hard to when you’re not out. And it’s different than asking girls out. I didn’t really like them like that so I wasn’t nervous about it. With Sam, I can’t even say hi right.”

Luke’s lips twist in thought. “I’ll help you out, bro.” This is it. Grizz’s worst nightmare is coming true. He’s not a believer but he sends a silent prayer just in case there really is any deities out there that will take pity on him. He gives a final pat and then looks around them. Speak of the devil and he shall come. Sam and Becca wearing swim suits now are making their way to them. Becca seems happy at the moment even though she’s having to hang out with a bunch of jocks. 

“Please don’t,” Grizz pleads.

Luke tsks at him. “You have no faith in me, bro.”

Sam looks happy and carefree as always since the trip began. At school, he always seemed much more resigned and quiet. He’s always usually quiet, but you know what he means. He seems more bright like the rest of the class without school looming over their heads. If Grizz thought about it more, even the teachers act different. But he has _Sam vision_ right now so he’s not thinking too much on that.

Luke grins at them and waves them over, “Hey guys!” Oh God, this was not something Grizz thought to think about; Luke figuring it out so fast. Grizz hurries to do something to distract himself from freaking out and casts back out but he’s not really paying attention to it. 

Becca and Sam arrive next to them. She sits down on a boulder and sips from her water bottle. Sam steps into the water, his feet fully submerged. He turns around to face them all. It must be something that’s a habit. To keep facing the people your with, to watch, in case someone started talking or signing. Grizz studiously watches his pole until Sam startles him when he asks, “Catch anything yet?”

“Um, not yet.” He shakes his head no just in case Sam couldn’t read his lips. 

Sam bends down and sticks his hands in the water. He comes back up with a rock. “My dad use to take me and my brother fishing when we were little.” 

“Same,” Grizz starts, “But it was my grandpa that took me.” He’s too conscious of how fast he should talk to Sam. He really should pick up sign language. He makes a mental note to look into it later. 

His line pulls from a bite, distracting him, and he reels in a little, but the fish escapes off the hook. Dejected, he reels it back in to recast. 

Clark and Jason finally notice Becca and Sam from where they are pushing each other under water. “Hey, Becca, get in!” 

She looks put out at the idea even though she’s wearing a swim suit. It’s a solid black one piece and she’s looks really pretty in it, Grizz thinks. 

Becca shrieks as Sam kicks water at her. Wow, so he’s a little mischievous. That’s cute. “You jerk!” Becca stands up from the boulder and marches up to Sam and pushes him backward into the water till they both topple over and submerge under. Sam comes up laughing and the sound gives Grizz heart palpitations. 

Luke whispers to him, “Dude, you talk fine with him. I know what you need; just more alone time to get the ball rolling.” Then Luke slaps him on the back again, which annoys the shit out of Grizz when he does that and then he joins them and oh, good. . . He has a few of those squishy balls you pelt at people and call it fun. How did Grizz not notice them?

Feeling left out, Grizz reels his line back in and sets it beside the boulder before he joins them too.

He stomps into the water and jumps in, making sure everyone is in splashing distance. 

Luke pelts him with the balls when he resurfaces. Right on the nose. Bitch.

Grizz grabs the balls and throws them back. He laughs as they continue to play catch for a few minutes. Clark and Jason join in naturally. When he catches a break, Grizz sits down in the water near the bank. Sam joins him a minute later. “So no bites?” 

Grizz smiles, “No, not really.”

“That’s too bad. Becca really wanted to touch a fish.”

“Touch a fish? She’s never touched a fish before?”

“Apparently not.” 

Grizz hums. “Well, now I definitely need to catch one.” 

Sam, honest to God, giggles. It has the potential to melt hearts.

“Say, could you teach me something in sign?”

“Like what?”

“Anything.”

Sam seems to think on it for a moment before he moves his hands and signs something.

“What’s that mean?”

“I hated high school.” Which was not what Grizz was expecting but Grizz could understand why. He kind of did too, some aspects of it.

“How do sign the word same?”

Sam shows him and Grizz feels self conscious as he copies it. He smiles sheepishly at Sam who looks surprised. “You? Why do you hate high school?”

Grizz shrugs. “Well, I’m not really a morning person and what teenager genuinely likes high school?”

“True.” Sam leans back on his hands, tilts his head back, and closes his eyes. The sun highlights his hair and the bridge of his nose. Grizz absentmindedly watches him, then catches himself, thinks maybe he should stop but can’t. 

~

Luke throws his last ball at Jason before he glances over at Grizz. He’s doing that in-pain-slash-anxious expression again. Luke now knows that’s just his face when he’s around Sam aka the dude he’s apparently crushing hard on. (Why did it take this long for Luke to finally realize that? Well Luke chalks it up to apparently Grizz being incredibly shy around him.) Luke had his suspicions about him not being totally straight since winter break. One night, it was just him and Grizz getting high in his room, and they were talking ex-girlfriends of all things, mainly Grizz’s as Luke only had one. He tiredly admitted he never really felt anything romantically towards any of them and then changed the topic so fast, Luke wondered he just imagined it. He always gave Grizz his space and never confronted him on it. And sure, sometimes he’d almost explode from wanting to say something, like these past few days when he started to clue in on his behavior towards Sam. 

And watching Grizz literally pine after this guy and not doing anything about? Yeah, Luke couldn’t take it anymore and had to ask. Grizz doesn’t know it yet, but Luke is scheming at this very moment. He’s thinking of ways where he can get Grizz alone with Sam so his buddy can finally make his fucking move and ask him out. Maybe tonight he’ll get Clark and Jason to go along with him to play cards in Harry’s tent tonight. He’ll tell them Grizz is sick when they notice he’s not there. And he’ll get Allie to keep Becca in their tent for the night and then Grizz and Sam will be all alone for a couple of hours. Which to Luke, that is plenty of time to woo somebody. Just ask Helena. It’s fool proof. 

It’s decided right then. OPERATION: GET GRIZZ HIS GUY is a go.

“That is the saddest shit I’ve ever seen,” He mumbles to himself as he continues to watch as Grizz leans back to rest on his hands to mirror Sam who is sunbathing with his eyes closed, only for them to slip and he shouts as he falls back into the water. Sam doesn’t seem to notice (of course not, he’s deaf, Luke has to remind himself) and Grizz picks himself back up in a hurry to sit forward again. He starts picking up pebbles to throw across the river, looking awkward like he doesn’t know how to chill and be himself right now.

Oh my God, he’s more hopeless than Luke thought. He’ll for sure need to give him one of his patented pep talk the next chance he gets. 

“So is Becca short for Rebecca?” Jason asks her. 

“No. It’s just Becca.” 

“Oh, okay,” Jason spots his girlfriend walking along the river with her friends. “Babe! Erica!”

She turns toward them and grins when she sees Jason. “Hey, I was about to come look for you!”

“Get in here!”

She shrugs and waves at her friends to go on before taking her shirt and shorts off. She slowly makes her way into the water to them and kisses Jason. “Hey.”

“Hey, baby, you know Becca, right?”

She turns to look at her and to Luke, her smiles seems a little fake as she says hi to her. Becca seems to not mind, but what does Luke know, he’s not an expert on girls except for his girl, Helena. And even then, he sometimes gets whiplash when he thinks he’s doing something right and ends up being totally wrong.

Or maybe fake is not the right word. Maybe it’s just like one of those smiles you give to strangers you pass by on the street because you make eye contact with them and it would be rude not to. 

“Hey, you’re like top in our grade besides Grizz in English, right?” 

“I guess.”

“Could you help me edit my college essay paper? It’s due in like two weeks and I’m shit at writing.”

Becca’s hesitates. 

“I could pay you. Fifty bucks?” Erika offers, “I’d ask Grizz but he’s been really busy this past this week.” 

Becca thinks on it for a moment before she finally gives in. “Sure.” Becca doesn’t seem too excited about it, but not annoyed so that’s a good thing, right?

“Great! I’ll email it to you later.” Erika turns back to Jason, who is very happy his girlfriend is hanging out with them now. 

Clark is eyeing a tree that’s right next the water. One of it’s main branches hangs over the river, casting a shadow there. Luke’s read his mind before he even says anything. “Hey, you think that branch is strong enough to hold a rope?”

“That’d be fucking awesome.” Luke’s excitement is short lived though as he realizes one important ingredient in making a rope swing. “But, dude, where are we going to find rope?”

“I don’t know. This is a camp, right? It’s gotta have fuckin’ rope somewhere.” He trails off as he heads for the river bank. Luke follows him, leaving Becca, Jason, and Erika behind. 

~

Luke and Clark pass by Sam and Grizz as they head back toward camp. “Dude, we’re going to get some rope for a fucking rope swing. Brb,” Luke quickly and excitedly explains before they take off again.

Sam, who opens his eyes again when his friend’s shadow loom over them, turns to Grizz after they’re gone. “Um, what did they say?”

Grizz remembers to speak slowly. “Something about a rope swing.”

“Rope swing?” He sounds interested as he asks while he signs the words. Grizz tries to memorize them. 

“Yeah.”

“That’d be fun. Would you do it too?”

“If it’s stable.” Grizz throws another pebble. He feels Sam touch his arm and he looks over at him again, suddenly shy.

“So why aren’t you swimming?”

“Oh,” _Because you’re sitting beside me right now and this much better than swimming._ “Um, just felt like sitting for now. Why aren’t you?”

“Well, then you’d be alone.” Which is the most thoughtfulness thing Grizz has heard someone say to him.

Grizz bites his lips maybe too hard this time to keep him from smiling. He remembers to breathe. “How do you sign thanks?”

Sam shows him and Grizz repeats the sign.

~

Luke and Clark actually do find some rope and they’d already made knots in it. Clark climbs up the tree with Jason’s help and straddles the branch as he ties it on. Luke is the first to test it out and nothing breaks, so Grizz deems it stable. 

He taps Sam on the shoulder and asks him, “You coming?” 

Sam grins and nods his head and gets up to walk alongside Grizz to his friends by the tree. After Clark takes his turn, Grizz offers the rope to Sam, but he insists Grizz goes first.

“You’re not going to bail out, are you?”

“No,” He says and signs. Grizz takes note of that one too.

Grizz complies, “Okay, you better.” Grizz is just joking. If Sam really didn’t want to swing, that’s fine. Hopefully Sam knows he’s just kidding around. Grizz swings on the rope and jumps off at the highest point of elevation over the water.

Sam catches the rope as it swings back and gets ready.

Becca gapes from beside them in the water. “Wow, he’s actually going to do it. He has like no upper body strength.” Grizz huffs a laugh.

Sam swings out, jumps off, and submerges under water. When he comes back up, he swims over to him and Becca. 

“How did I do?” He asks and signs.

Becca signs something back to him before he turns to Grizz. He smiles assuredly at him, “You did good.”

~

Later on, during dinner which is at 6 p.m. that night, Grizz sits by his friends and their girlfriends under the pavilion. He’s not really paying attention to the conversation, too busy using the last of his data, downloading apps on ASL. He occasionally remembers to take a bite of his meal. No one bothers him, except Luke, who is sitting beside him. He peeks at his phone and smirks at him. Then he murmurs that Grizz has got it bad if he’s willing to learn new languages for the guy. Grizz swats at him to shut him up.

Thankfully no one at the table overhears him. 

When he finishes eating, he goes ahead of the guys back to the tent to get ready for a shower. Before he exits the tent though, Luke comes in and stops him. “Hey!” He grabs Grizz shoulder. “You’re going to seriously love me for this, bro.”

Oh God. “What did you do?”

“I got Jason and Clark coming with me to Harry’s tent. We’re playing cards, games, but mostly discreetly getting wasted. Should be a blast. Which means you’ll have the tent for at least two hours.” Luke looks stoked about it.

Grizz is not really following.

He sighs. “Dude, you’ll be here. Sam will be here. Alone together. This is your chance to make your move!”

“What? I’m not making any moves on Sam.”

“Well, still. You two can hang out uninterrupted.” He frowns. “Honestly I’d thought you’d be excited about this.”

Grizz sighs. “It’s cool, bro. You don’t have to go out your way to try to help me out. I’ll eventually pull my head out of my ass and maybe ask him out. Just not tonight.”

“Well, I already told the guys you weren’t feeling well so it looks like your stuck here anyway.” He does not sound apologetic at all as he walks back out the tent. “Bye, have a good night.”

Grizz doesn’t know what’s more prominent: the jitters running all through his body after hearing he’ll possibly be alone with Sam for a night, or the urge to strangle his friend.

~  
Grizz finds out its actually pretty easy, talking with Sam alone:

After his shower, he goes back to the tent to see that Luke was true to word and none of friends are there. But Sam is, sitting on his cot, looking at his phone. He must of seen movement in his peripheral vision, because he looks up at Grizz and smiles. 

“Hey, you’re not hanging out in Harry’s tonight?” 

Grizz shakes his head, too nervous to sign no even though he knows it now. “Why aren’t you?”

“It’s also my brother’s tent.”

“You two don’t get along?”

“Not really, no. He’s an asshole.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He’s still standing by the entrance much like last night. He feels like this is not even his tent without his friends there. Like he’s encroaching on Sam’s space now or something. 

“Don’t apologize for him. He can’t help it anyway.” Grizz stalls, not knowing what to say to that. Sam shakes his head. “Never mind. Doing anything tonight?”

Grizz gestures to the tent as a whole. “Just hanging around here with you, I guess.” He pauses, “Unless you’re going somewhere?”

“Nope, staying here. Becca is hanging out with my cousin and for some reason they won’t let guys and girls in the same tent. Wonder what that’s about.”

Grizz laughs at his joke.

“Do you,” He hesitates, “You’re funny,” He goes with instead. “No wonder Becca hogs you to herself.” 

He silently laughs at Grizz’s joke, which Grizz thought it was a little lame, but his mouth is not following orders at the moment. Their conversation is hardly hindered except for the few times Grizz has to repeat himself more slowly. Other than that, they sit on their respective cots, facing each other with their legs tucked underneath them. Grizz tells him all about the current book he’s reading, when Sam notices it lying on his pillow. He tells him all his favorite authors, his favorite quotable authors (because there is difference), and some of his favorite quotes. He pulls some up on his phone for Sam to read and after awhile, Sam says, “A lot of these are about God and religion. Are you a religious person?”

“Not really. Like I don’t go to church, if that’s what you’re asking. I just have an interest in it. Like when I read some of these quotes I don’t necessarily think of them pertaining to my faith but like other aspects of my life. Like life in general.” He’s never really explained his obsession over theology to anybody before. He’s not really sure if he’s doing it right either. He’s probably sounds like a dumbass and should really shut up now, he thinks.

But Sam nods like he gets it and maybe he does. Grizz would like to find somebody that he can share this part of him with. Maybe Sam could be that person. 

Grizz’s phone buzzes and it’s a message from Luke that’s nothing but the wink emoji. He backs out of his messaging app and on the home screen are the two app icons for learning ASL. He looks back up at Sam so he can read his lips, “Hey, I downloaded some apps to learn sign language. Are these good ones?” He shows Sam his phone. 

“Yeah, but why do you want to learn sign? Planning on going deaf?”

Grizz laughs nervously. “No. It’s easier for you than reading lips all the time, right?”

“I can read yours just fine.”

“Yeah, but your friends use sign all the time too. So I figure it can’t be that difficult to learn.”

Sam blinks, a moment of silence falls between them. It has Grizz doubting every word he’s said since the start of the conversation. 

“We’re friends?” Sam finally asks.

“If you want to be,” Grizz is sweating again. This is much harder than he thought. He wants to gain Sam’s trust, that he’s a good guy before he can make any advancements. He’ll leave everything up to Sam. If he doesn’t want to be friends, Grizz will just have to suck it up and respect that.

He’s worried over nothing, it turns out. For Sam grins at him, like the idea of being friends is something he can definitely get on board with. “Okay.”

“Great!” Relieved, Grizz exclaims maybe a little too loud and probably looks overzealous about the prospect of a new friend to Sam. Fuck it. Grizz can handle looking like a dork in front of him for a few seconds. He honestly thought there was a chance Sam would say no for whatever reason or maybe no reason at all. 

“So?” He shakes his phone, bringing attention back to the matter at hand. “These apps good?”

Sam nods. His eyes glaze over for a second before Grizz can really take notice of it. He picks up his pillow to set it on his lap. Grizz gets comfortable too, pulls his cover over his shoulders. 

“I could help you if you’d like. Want to start now?”

“Okay.” Grizz knows he’s sounds giddy but he doesn’t care at the moment. 

“Okay. This is yes.” He makes the sign for yes and Grizz copies it. “This is no.” He demonstrates it, but Grizz already knew from earlier. He repeats it anyway. Sam shows him a few more basic words that’s commonly used. “Start signing them every time you say them. Even when they’re in the middle of sentences and you don’t know the other word’s signs. Also start paying attention to my hands more. As I speak the word, I’ll sign it.”

“Okay.” 

Sam looks at him expectantly. 

Oh, right. He does the sign for okay. 

Sam nods in his approval. 

~

Somehow prom comes up and The Guard’s dance routines they made. For some reason he gets the urge to tell Sam how he used to tap dance. Now every time Sam talks, it’s much more slower because Grizz watches his hands as he signs. “Can you still do it?”

A little embarrassed to admit, “Kind of. I’ll sometimes practice in my room.”

“Can I see?” 

“Maybe one day.” Grizz is able to sign day; one of the signs Sam just showed him. “Maybe at prom. Are you going?”

“I want to. I’m trying to talk Becca into to going.”

“She has to. It’s her senior prom. Listen, Iona from Pretty and Pink said it best when her friend who didn’t got side effects from missing prom whenever she started to feel like something was missing. You can’t let her skip out. It’s imperil to her memory that she goes.”

Sam is looking at him funny now. And oh crap, was he speaking too fast?

“Sorry,” He signs while he says it. “Ignore all that. I’m just rambling now.”

“You’re okay,” He says. “I just didn’t take you for someone that likes 80’s rom-coms.”

“Oh.”

“I should apologize. I judged you and your friends before even really talking to any of you and that’s not fair. Hopefully you can forgive me?”

Grizz nods, “It’s okay. I understand. I mean, we do fit into that meathead jock that likes to get stoned stereotype. You wouldn’t be wrong about that if that’s what you were thinking.”

“No. More like I’d thought you’d be jerks or have a problem bunking with the gay kid.”

In the spur of the moment, to try to ease Sam’s mind, he may have said too much. “Don’t worry. You being gay is not a problem. Trust me.” He’s not able to think clearly to do any of the signs of words he kind of remembers, like you and me.

It’s definitely going to take some practice. But it’s worth it if it keeps making Sam smile at him when he gets one right.

The whole night feels like an accomplishment, really. He feels like a page is turning in his story. To a new chapter, one where he’s finally made progress and doesn’t feel like a bumbling idiot when talking to Sam.  
Sam tells him about how when he was young, he had meningitis and it caused him to loose his hearing. How he still remembers some sounds back then like his mom’s voice.

They talk for what feels like hours and he’s guesses it really has been, because at 11 p.m. the guys sneak back in, drunker than he’s ever seen them. It makes him wonder just what Harry had snuck onto camp with him. 

Luke loudly shushes the other two as they enter, though he snickers along with them. “Bros, are we trying to get caught?” Grizz and Sam try not to laugh as they watch the scene before them. Luke pushes Clark to his cot, who falls gracelessly on it. Luke takes the cover at the end of the cot and tucks their friend in and leans down to whispers closely, “Nighty, night.” Grizz can’t help but laugh now. How much did they drink? 

Luke falls face first into his cot and promptly starts snoring. 

Grizz turns back to Sam. “You’re lucky you can’t hear them snore,” He says before he even thinks about it. “Sorry, is that an insensitive thing to say? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Sam is smiling at him again, so it really must be okay, so Grizz doesn’t worry about it too much as he tries to go to sleep later. Jason is still stumbling around, trying to take off his shirt and belt at the same time. 

“Doofus, one at a time.”

He mutters back, “Bruh, I got this.” 

He didn’t get it though. He gets the belt out of two loops before he gives up on that and he gives up on the shirt entirely. 

Clark, who he thought was passed out by now, jolts up in his cots, “I forgot to text Gwen.” And the sudden movement must of upset his stomach because then he throws up on the ground between his and Sam’s cots. Sam, in a rush to not be sprayed with vomit, and who can blame him, jumps off his cot and joins Grizz on his. 

His shoulder bumps his, and if it were any other time, Grizz would’ve have fixated on it. But the stench of throw up is filling the tent and Grizz sits in disbelief, closes his eyes for a second to pretend that didn’t just happen. But when he opens his eyes, its to see Sam already looking at him, his nose scrunched in disgust, but also like he might laugh like the whole situation is just hilarious. Clark falls back down, actually passing out this time.

Grizz sighs. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go get paper towels from the bathhouse.” 

“I’ll go with you.” He holds a hand over his nose. “Starting to stink in here.”

Grizz smiles sympathetically to him. Grizz may be used to his friend’s antics, but Sam sure isn’t. 

They walk side by side up the dirt path to the bathhouse. They stay silent, mainly because they don’t want any chaperones to hear them and then ask why they are carrying a whole roll of paper towels to their tent. It’s a wonder how the guys even made it back to the their tent uncaught. It’s so quiet out here that Grizz can hear their breathing. 

Grizz is not even the one who puked all over the floor, yet he feels a little humiliated as he cleans it up. Sam helps by holding open the trash bag they also took from the bathhouse. When they get back from throwing the trash bag away and washing their hands, the tent still has a pungent smell. Feeling dejected at how this night’s turned out, Grizz lays quietly on his cot and watches as Sam tries to mask the smell with his deodorant spray. It’s not Axe or any of them brands like that. It’s just regular Sure, original scent and that’s makes a lot of sense. Because every time Grizz has ever been close enough to Sam, he’s never notice any strong body spray like most guys their age wear.

It’s actually kind of nice. Grizz isn’t really a big fan of strong scents himself. Though there was that one year in junior high where he heavily wore Axe spray, but he mainly did that to fit in. 

When Sam finishes doing that, he turns back to Grizz and asks, “Think he’ll puke again?”

He looks to Clark, who is passed out, sleeping soundly now. “No, I think he’s out for good now. You should be in the clear.” He remembered to sign the words he knows. It’s only just the word no and you, but Sam gives him an encouraging smile all the same.

~

When Sam meets up with Becca at breakfast the next morning, he tells her about hanging out with Grizz last night. He doesn’t want to admit it yet to her but he thinks he’s starting to like him. Like as a romantic interest, which is bad news, because Grizz is straight. Becca probably already caught on to it though. She knows him so well, it’d be surprising if she didn’t at least suspect a little.

**Grizz is different. I don’t know. He’s smart. Like really smart. And sensitive. Not what you really expect considering who his friends are. His friends aren’t bad either. They’re actually pretty cool too. What did you think about them yesterday at the river?**

Becca sighs before she says as she signs, “I have to admit, they seem okay.”

Sam grins at her. **So you do like them. And here I thought you had a heart so small to rival the Grinch’s. **

Becca throws a grape at his head but he catches it in his mouth.

He laughs when he sees she’s still brooding. **Oh what’s the worst that could happen? Them secretly planning to play a prank on me? Nothing worse than what Campbell could do or has already done. **

He pauses to give her some time to think on it. **Besides, Grizz seems like he genuinely wants to be my friend.**

Becca lifts her eyebrows at that. “Okay, but if you’re wrong, and I want to hope you’re not, if any of them try to hurt you in any way, I’ll rip their faces off.”

Sam winces at the unwanted image, but is also kind of touched by her protectiveness. **Okay, calm down, Hulk. What did you and Allie do last night?**

“We watched a movie on her IPad. Something called Weird Science,” She says while signing. “It’s actually a pretty funny movie.”

Sam nods. He knows it. It also reminds him of the Pretty in Pink reference Grizz made last night and shares that with Becca in hopes it will convince her to go to prom.

~

On the second morning of camp, Grizz wakes up to find the tent’s only other occupant is Clark who is still sleeping. Grizz decides for pay back for cleaning up his mess last night is to hit with his pillow. He’s not gentle about it either.

“Grizz, what the fuck?”

He ignores him, turning away to get dressed in his clothes for the day. “Get up, you’re going to help me collect fire wood.”

Clark groans and hides his face in his cot. Grizz hits him with the pillow again. Clark retaliates by hitting him with his. It’s turns out into grade-A pillow fight then. Luke, whose hair is wet and looks freshly showered, enters the tent, confused as he watches the scene unravel before him. Clark is sitting on his cot, so Grizz takes this as leverage as he tackles him, pushes him down, and holds him there to assert his dominance. Clark must be pretty hungover because he gives up easily and declares, “Alright, fuck! You win!” Grizz jumps off of him, triumphant. 

“By the way, if you throw up in the tent again, I’m pulling you and your cot out into the woods and you can sleep with the deer.”

Clark groans and the world feels even again. 

~

True to his word, he does make Clark help him gather fallen branches and twigs for a fire tonight.

~

Grizz hangs out with Allie, Will, and Cassandra at lunch time. They have PB&J sandwiches and Will spills his milk down his shirt. The Guard goes swimming again afterwards, and Jason manages to break the rope swing, to _everybody’s_ disappointment. It’s not salvageable. Afterwards, they manage to gather all senior football players and a handful of other guys and gals to play touch football on the clearing beside the pavilion. Onlookers sit on the tables and ground to watch the game. Sam and Becca sit near by to watch and Grizz only gets distracted in glancing their way a few times. The last time results in a football to his face so he gets his head in the game after that. It last for an hour, and Grizz is so sweaty, he decides to shower real quick before dinner. They build a bonfire using the wood they collected that morning. For the most part, the day is eventful yet simply more relaxing compared to yesterday when they had the hike. 

Grizz only manages to say hi to Sam in passing that day but as the night winds down, his buddies are more interested in their girlfriends. (Even Luke, who is busy texting Helena.) (Clark is amazed he still has battery left. He still hasn’t realized most people brought portable phone chargers.) It gives Grizz a chance to sit by Sam and hang out again before the day ends. The light from the fire aids in helping Sam read hips lips. 

“Where’s Becca?”

“She’s coming back. She went to go take a shower.” He snickers. “She says right now is the perfect time because there’s usually a line right before curfew and in the morning.”

“Yeah, I took mine early too.” 

The fire is not really a bonfire; it’s too small. But Grizz and his friends and a few others Grizz is acquainted with squeeze together around it. It feels like one of those nights people will look back on when remembering their high school days. At least it has the potential to be. The weather has cooled down with the sun gone and a breeze has picked up. Allie has opted to bring out her blanket and its wrapped around her and her sister’s shoulders. Grizz has a hoodie on, but with the fire, its starting to feel a little stifling. He pulls it off and lets it rest in his lap. Sam is not wearing any extra layers, just a long sleeve shirt with the school’s crest on it. If this were like a scene out of a movie, Sam would shiver and Grizz would offer him his hoodie. He’d be fucking ecstatic at the idea of Sam wearing it.

But this is Grizz’s bad luck at hand again. Sam doesn’t shiver, not even once. So there’s no logical explanation to give him the hoodie. 

“You were awesome playing football earlier. Have you always liked the sport?”

“No, I was more into tap dancing, remember?” 

“Right.”

Grizz further explains, “My mom wanted me to do something more athletic, so I signed up for football in junior high. Then since I was good at, and enjoyed playing it with the guys,” He gestures to his friends on the other side of the fire, sitting with the girlfriends, and the lonely Luke. “I figured I’d play it through high school too.” 

Sam nods, “You’re a fast learner.” Then smiles so sweetly at him. “You were able to sign more than ten words just then.”

Grizz sheepishly smiles back. 

“It took Becca a whole month to start remembering.”

“Uh, I resent that.”

Grizz looks behind him to see Becca with a towel wrapped around her hair. She has her arms crossed. “I was 10. Of course it would have taken me a lot longer to start retaining all that information and signs.”

She squats down beside Sam and only signs something to Sam. Grizz is only able to pick up the word you because of how fast she goes. Grizz wonders if he’ll ever get that good enough. And if that’s the speed Sam is usually used to, then talking with Grizz must feel really slow. He wonders how he even has the patience. 

Grizz decides to retire 30 minutes before curfew, so he can have the tent to himself for a bit to study on the ASL apps without any distractions. 

~

He woken up by the tent’s entrance flapping open. Sam is standing inside, squirming on the spot, looking down at his phone. It illuminates the troubled look on his face. A quick look at his phone tells Grizz it’s two in the morning. He flicks the lantern on. He’s not worried the light will wake up The Guard.

Sam looks up at him.

Grizz mouths the words, “Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing, just going to the bathroom.” He says that but he keeps standing there. Grizz wonders if he is afraid to go alone since it’s late and Grizz jokingly told him about bears entering campsites at night to look for food earlier. He pulls off his blanket, slides his shoes on and grabs the lantern.

He walks up to Sam and holds the tent flap open. “I’ll go with you.” He somehow manages to sign with his free hand. Sam tells him he doesn’t have to but Grizz insists. He doesn’t seem troubled any more when he eventually accepts Grizz’s offer and steps outside. 

They use his phone’s flashlight for more light on the path. No bears yet. Or raccoons. Honestly, Grizz is more scared them than bears. 

When they reach the bathhouse, Grizz waits outside, wanting to star gaze while Sam goes inside. He comes back out a minute later, and Grizz points up at the stars. It’s always better to look at them, away from civilization. The few lights from camp aren’t bright enough to outshine them. 

“Oh, wow,” He hears Sam say breathlessly. “There’s so many.” 

Grizz is happy. Right at the moment, nothing else is weighing on his mind: his mom and their issues, graduating high school in a month, or how he’ll probably be going dateless to the prom this is year too. We do not speak of junior prom; it is a forbidden subject. (But if you must know, Grizz did ask a girl, Carla, but she blew him off last minute to go with someone else. Who she apparently has been in love with since junior high. She said she’d hoped he’d understand and damn it, Grizz does. He’d probably do the same if the roles were reversed.) (Okay, maybe he wouldn’t because Grizz is a nice person and sticks to his word as best as he can, but for a hot minute after she tells him this, he thinks he could think like that.)

Not to mention, once summer begins, he’ll be picking up the morning shift at Matteo’s, making pizza dough to earn a little cash before he leaves for college. Which is only an hour away from home. 

And he doesn’t even want to think about college right now. He’s excited for it but he kind of wished he’d have listened to himself and not his mother and take a gap year.

But anyway, never mind all at that right now, Grizz is just happy to be right where he is at the moment, with Sam, looking up at the stars. He doesn’t know any constellations, but Sam does as he points one out.

“See that one? The three stars close together in a line? That’s Orion’s belt.”

They eventually make their way back to the tent ten minutes later. Grizz isn’t really sleepy anymore, but they’re not really supposed to be out until dawn, so Grizz goes back to bed. He plays solitaire on his phone until he realizes something vital most friends share. 

Sam is still sitting up in his cot, drinking from a water bottle. He opens a new contact entry and holds out his phone for Sam to see. Sam is surprised at this, that’s evident to Grizz. Maybe they’re not that kind of friends yet.

He starts to pull back, but Sam stops him and takes his phone in his hands. **There.**

Grizz signs his thanks and texts him so he has his number too. He goes for a simple start emoji as the message.

Sam sends back three stars.

~ 

Grizz passes out at five a.m. and manages to get a few more hours of sleep before Luke rudely wakes his ass up. The first thing he notices when he’s fully conscious of his surroundings is they’re alone. Luke is chipper, sitting down on Jason’s cot. “So, where are you with Sam? You tell him you liked him yet? Please say you did.”

“What?”

Luke rolls his eyes. “Have you,” He speaks slowly like he’s talking to a child, “asked Sam out yet?”

Grizz runs a hand through his hair. “No,” He mutters. He decides to tie his hair up for the day. “It’s still too soon to do that.”

“Grizz, my man. You are actively putting yourself in the friend zone.”

“Well, yeah, kind of. I just need more time.” He doesn’t know how to explain to Luke any better than he already has that what’s going on between him and Sam is still too new to try to propose any advancements. That’s it doesn’t feel the same way as when Grizz would ask out girls, simple and straight to the point. Straightforwardness is not going to impress Sam (or at least he thinks). But also, Grizz needs time. He wasn’t planning on coming out and getting a boyfriend while he’s still in high school. He planned to do all that when he leaves for college. That could still be the plan. Nothing may actually happen between Sam and him. They may just become friends and Grizz is good with that. It’d be nice to have a friend that he could connect to on that same level. (Even though Sam doesn’t know it. Not yet anyway.) It’s all so confusing and Grizz would love to stop thinking about it. 

“Grizz,” Luke must sense his panic or mood change or something because he becomes much more calmer and gently lays a hand on Grizz’s knee. “I’m here for you, buddy. If you ever want to talk. Just know that.”

“I know. Thanks, Luke.”

~

While camping sure is fun and awesome, having to share a tent with The Guard is not. Jason sneaks his girlfriend into their tent later that day and they’re so disgustingly sweet, it’s gross. Grizz finds himself escaping and heading for the river to sit in the shade and finish his book. He just wants a moment to himself. It feels like somebody is always around, and Grizz just needs to recharge. There’s a gentle breeze that’s been blowing through the trees since yesterday night. He spends hours out there, shockingly not bothered by anyone. A squirrel does come close though before it realizes Grizz and scurries away. It’s nice to read sometimes. He can take his mind off of things and enter a new world for a few hours.

~

When Grizz finally decides to enter civilization again, he’s missed dinner. It didn’t even cross his mind till it’s an hour later and Grizz is hungry. People are already either lining up to take showers, still hanging out under the pavilion, or walking around . Some are in the tree lines, fucking around, no doubt. It’s a miracle no one’s come up missing so far. He remembers there were a few people by the river too, and Grizz feels empathy for them because they probably missed dinner too and don’t even know it. 

His phone buzzes for the first time that day with a message. 

He holds his breath when he sees it’s from Sam. It reads: I saved you a hamburger and fries if you want it. 

Another ones pops up underneath it: I noticed you weren’t around when they were serving. I’m at the pavilion.

How thoughtful, Grizz thinks. He finds Sam sitting with Becca and Gordie. The Pressman sisters are nearby, playing the card game Bullshit with a handful of other people.

“Hey,” He greets everybody and sits down in front of Sam. Sam simply slides the food over. “Thanks. I was reading down by the river and totally forgot about dinner.” Sam and Becca share a look of fondness (Sam) and amused (Becca) with each other that Grizz is unaware of because he starts taking the aluminum foil off the plate.

“Still reading the same book?”

“Nope. Just finished it.” Grizz takes a bite out of his burger and sighs in bliss. 

“Do you forget to eat often?” Becca asks.

“Only when I’m reading a good book.” He grins. 

They chat until the sun goes down and the sky turns periwinkle. Gordie shares a rough draft of his valedictorian speech with them. Grizz and Becca share their thoughts on it. Grizz looks it over for any grammar mistakes. Sam mostly stays quiet. It’s a little concerning but Becca doesn’t seemed fazed by it, so Grizz doesn’t say anything.

There’s no fire tonight but he does hang around with Becca and Sam till curfew. At one point, they show him more signs and have him try to say stuff without talking. He messes up of course and they all laugh about it. It’s fun hanging out with them. It’s a different kind than when he’s goofing off with The Guard.

~ 

On Wednesday, it storms early in the morning and doesn’t stop till lunch time. The rain somehow soaks all the tables under the pavilion. Must have been a sideways rain. They had planned to do another hike this afternoon but they decide to put it off for tomorrow. 

~  
“All I’m saying is, if there was an alternate universe out there where there was no adults-”

Grizz cuts him off there, “Jason, you’re eighteen. You’re literally classified as an adult.” 

“Alright, so maybe an alternate universe where-”

Luke cuts him off this time, “How do you even know what an alternate universe is?”

Jason is getting visibly irritated at his friends interrupting him. “There was a big discussion about it in class last week.”

Clark is baffled by this. “Dude, you were paying attention to that?”

Jason is blinking rapidly at him, looking like he’s ready to be done with them and pack up his suitcase and find some new friends.

“So as I was saying, what would you do if you arrived back home Saturday to find every else gone?”

Grizz drops the nub of what was left of his joint into his empty soda can. “Are you doing like, stronger shit behind our backs, like how high are you?” Grizz’s high is only just a buzz.

They’ve gathered down by the river further than they’re supposed to go to get high. The plan is if they get caught by a chaperone, they’re to jump into the water and tell them they’ll swim back to the designated area. Mainly to try to keep a distant so they don’t see their bloodshot eyes. 

“I would,” Clark stalls, “I would get high everyday.”

“Clark, you already do that.”

“Oh, yeah.” Clark has a really stupid look on his face and it’s so hilarious to Grizz who suddenly starts laughing and can’t stop. Jason starts in on his hypotheticals again and Luke is intently listening. They probably would look crazy to any bystanders. 

He paraphrases a line from a play he likes, “God doesn’t punish people for specific things, he just punishes them in general.”

He must of sprouted a second head for the stares they give him.

“It’s a line from a play I like. It means to try to make the best out of your situation.”

“That’s deep,” Jason says.

“Big mood,” Clark says after him.

Then Luke says, “Same.” 

Grizz rolls his eyes at his friends.

~ 

On Thursday morning, he actually gets sick, resulting in him sitting out the second scheduled hike on a different longer trail. He was looking forward to it too. 

He spends most of the day sleeping in his cot, the pain/fever reducer he took is not doing shit for him. At one point, he starts shivering, so he steals Jason’s and Clark’s blankets. He probably shouldn’t because germs spread, but he just wants to get warm again. His tent mates mainly stay away after they return from the hike. When he’s not asleep, he plays on his phone and watches YouTube videos on the structure of ASL, but his brain isn’t retaining any of the information so that doesn’t last long. At dinner time, Luke enters the tent and hands him a thermos. “One of the teachers found a can of Campbell’s in the kitchen tent.” He sits down on Sam’s cot while Grizz sits up. He gets the sweet relief of his sinuses opening for the first time that day from inhaling the steam from the chicken noodle soup. “Thanks,” He croaks and takes a sip. “This is your fault, by the way. You jinxed me when you told the guys I was sick the other night.”

Luke scoffs, “When in reality, it’s probably because of swimming in the cold ass river last night.”

“Still blaming you,” He mutters petulantly.

Luke chuckles at him. 

That night, when the guys come in for bed, they take their covers back, but that’s okay, because now he’s starting to sweat. He thinks his fever might be breaking. His mind is still too muggy to really care what he looks like in front of Sam right now. 

“Hey, you thirsty?” Sam holds out a water bottle to him. The condensation dripping off it makes his mouth water. He didn’t realize how thirty he was.

He signs thank you to Sam. He can’t speak anymore; his head feels like a balloon. He downs the water and promptly falls back on his cot. The Guard and Sam chat around him, but he’s can’t really pay attention to contribute. It doesn’t take long to fall asleep once he shuts his eyes.

~ 

He wakes up at dawn. He’s clear headed as he walks down the path to take a shower. He is thankfully the only guy up at this time to do so and Grizz relishes being the only one in there. He stays under the spray of hot water for as long as he can stand it. He stands in front of the mirror as he ties his still wet fringe out of his face. His appearance is not a priority right now as he’ll probably go back to bed for another hour at least. Staring into the mirror, he sees bags under his eyes which is mind boggling since he practically slept the whole of yesterday. His lips purse as he crosses his arms. 

“You just had to get sick on this week of all the weeks in the year, huh,” He chastises his reflection. “At least there’s still today,” He reasons.

~  
Panic feels a lot like bile rising in your throat with the added bonus of a rising heart beat and shortness of breath. He experiences a little of it when he gets back to the tent to find Sam is awake. What brings it on is he starts to imagine what he looked like yesterday in front of him. Which certainly wasn’t cute or whatever attractive adjectives people usually use to describe him. He probably looked gross, and now Sam has seen him at his worst.

He’s probably overreacting. He’s tries to play it cool as he sits down on his cot. Sam turns the lantern on the lowest setting.

** Hi. **

He signs it back with a small smile.

** You feeling better? **

**Yes. **

Sam frowns. “Don’t seem like it,” He says softly.

Grizz only shrugs. Psychically, he does feel better, but emotionally, he feels like shit. Sam bites his lip and turns away, thinking. He picks up his phone and Grizz’s phone buzzes in his hoodie pocket a minute later. He looks questionably at Sam and pulls out his phone. He opens the message and an image loads of a raccoon smiling menacingly photo shopped in the background of a camp site. It makes him crack a smile. He grins over at Sam who is laying down again now, but still facing him. Grizz searches through his phone’s gallery to find any funny pictures he has. He finds a video he took of Jason learning how to park and failing miserably. It was when they took a drivers course back in tenth grade. Jason still doesn’t know about the existence of this video. He makes sure the sound is down, because behind the camera, Grizz was crying laughing the whole way through it and he doesn’t want to wake up The Guard right now. He passes his phone over to Sam and when he lets out a silent laugh, Grizz knows he did good picking that one. 

** Who’s that? ** He points at the phone.

Grizz points behind him at Jason and Sam bites his lip, holding in a laugh. Grizz experiences a sudden rush to inhale as he sees this. He’s too fucking cute for his own damn good. It’s makes him want to find more funny things to show him just to see that reaction again. 

Grizz lays back down, still facing Sam. They show each other funny memes they find until Grizz starts to hear rustling outside as more people start to wake and his friends start to stir.

Clark is the first to get up and he looks confused at Grizz. “Grizz, how do you go from lying in your death bed to chipper the next fucking morning?”

And that’s when Grizz realizes his bad mood is gone. He felt content laying there with Sam, the two making each other laugh. It’s one of the best mornings he’s ever had.

He also realizes he’s in love with Sam.

~

He knew he’d like him a lot. These past few days, hanging out with him and getting to know him have reaffirmed that. But in love is another whole scary thing to even consider. Because if he falls in love with him now, won’t it be that much harder to tell him how he feels? The fear of rejection increases about a thousand times more, right? So yeah, Grizz promptly buries that thought and pretends it never happened. This is running through his mind in the duration it takes for The Guard to get dressed. When Luke looks over at him to see he’s still laying down, he asks, “Dude, you coming? Breakfast?”

Grizz hums noncommittally, still trying to wrap his head around his new found feelings.

“Are you still sick? Want me to bring you something back?”

Grizz takes a deep breath. “No, no. I’m coming.” He pulls off his blanket and slip his shoes back on. Sam is still laying down. 

Grizz nudges his foot with his knee. “You coming?”

“I think I’m going to wait till Becca gets up.”

Grizz does the sign for okay and gives him a parting smile before he leaves with Luke.

“Dude,” Is all he says in a exasperating voice on the way there.

“I know. I’ll tell him eventually.”

“What’s holding you back?” He seems genuinely curious so it spurs him to tell him the gist of it. He can’t go into detail, because the walk to the breakfast line under the pavilion is short and he doesn’t want anyone to overhear.

“I’m nervous, man,” He pauses as he catches his breath because admitting just that took it all of out of him. “What if he doesn’t like me like that?”

He is cut off before he can say anymore. “Dude, you’re worrying too much over this. Like seriously, I’ve never seen you like this over someone. Just be like you were, you know, when you were with girls. Sam can’t be that different.”

Grizz huffs. “If only it were that simple.”

“You know, I know somebody who’d be really good for you to talk to.”

He looks at him quizzically.

“Helena. She’s smart and like, introspective about things. I’m surprised you two don’t talk more. You have a lot in common.” Then he gets sidetracked and starts in with comparisons. “You’re both sweet and have down to earth personalities. Everybody likes you guys. You both have an obsession with the word of God and religion.” He gives Grizz placating hands. “For different reasons, you know. Her, a believer and you, well, you know. Oh, and you both love me, so that’s for sure a factor. And you both care a lot about other people. You get where I’m going. She’d give you good advice. For sure better than me.” Then he gets a love sick puppy look to him and Grizz gives his face a hand wash for it.

“Alright, alright,” He finally says, “I’ll consider it.”

They drop the conversation to stare hungrily at the hot breakfast they have prepared for the last full day of the trip. Tomorrow they will have to ride twelve hours back to home.

~ 

When everybody is wandering around camp after breakfast, waiting for the scavenger hunt to begin, Grizz spends the time in his tent, rearranging and packing up some clothes that found it’s way under his cot. Sam is also there, but he’s just reading over the summary of Grizz’s book. When he’s done, he looks up at Grizz.

“You can borrow it, if you want,” Grizz says. Then he asks in sign how to sign (One of the first phrases Sam taught him.) the word want, fingerspelling the word. By now, he’s got the alphabet down.

He shows him and Grizz practices it. He’s too wrapped up in watching his hands to see the look of fondness on Sam as he practices the sign. 

~

A dog wonders upon camp later. It’s a black and white border collie and very sweet. It’s doesn’t have a collar and it’s looks a little hungry so the class instantly adopts it. They give it water and someone feeds it the meat from their sandwich at lunch. Elle, Campbell’s new girlfriend seems to be the most attached to it. 

~

The scavenger hunt begins at one o’clock. The Guard decide to team up with the Pressman sisters, Sam, Becca, and Will.

The chaperones hand out the list of items they have to find. It’s not a short one, but a lot of it’s easy stuff like a piece of clothing with the school’s name or logo on it. Clark provides them his letterman jacket and they check it off the list.

“Maybe we should split up and meet back here with our things.” Cassandra rips the two columns of the list in half and hands Grizz one part. “Remember, an item can only count for one thing.” 

Sadly, Sam goes with his cousins and Becca. Grizz sticks with The Guard as they set of towards the woods for a pinecone, firewood, something yellow, and to find any animal tracks they can take a picture of. The others head toward the river to find certain colored rocks and insects that are on the list.

“This is a dumb shit scavenger hunt. Remind me why we’re doing it again?” Jason complains behind Grizz. 

Luke replies, “Quit whining. We are doing this for the sake of our friendships and bonding together over the outdoors one last time before we have to go back to civilization.” Grizz highly suspects Luke was just getting jealous over watching Clark and Jason flirting with their girlfriends while he is Helena-less. 

“I could be _bonding_ with Erika,” he mutters under his breath. 

Grizz looks back at him, slightly annoyed. “Dude.”

~

They meet up later under the pavilion to check off their lists and find there only missing one. A fish. Like an honest to God living breathing fish.

“Grizz, this is your moment. Go catch us a fish.” Clark slaps him on the back and Grizz goes to get his fishing pole from their tent. They walk with him to the river and watch as he casts out. With all their eyes on him and his line, it’s make him feel a little self conscious and he really doesn’t want to let them down. 

It takes him seven long painstakingly minutes to get a bite and he pulls up too fast, missing it. There is a chorus ‘awes’ and ‘fucks’ behind him. Sam comes up to stand beside him.

“You got this, bro.” 

Grizz nearly goes into shock. His face heats up. Sam just called him bro and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. It was definitely cute, being called a nickname by him, but he wishes it were another kind. Not one that screams ‘friend zoned’.

Grizz psychically shakes his head to clear his mind. This is not the time to think about all this. He needs to focus on catching a fish. The Pressman sisters quietly cheer him on. Becca is snapping pictures, unbeknownst to him, of him and Sam.

He finally manages to catch a fish. Becca takes his picture holding it up for proof and then gets to finally touch one before they throw it back in.

They come in second place, winning colorful travel mugs with a logo of the Great Smoky Mountains on it. Bean and Gordie, to nobody’s surprise at all, win first, beating them by ten or so minutes. How does two people beat a group of nine? Well, they didn’t spend fifteen minutes trying to catch a fucking fish by fishing for it. They caught a little baby one near the bank with a net, that’s how.

Clark naturally complains afterwards, “All that work for a travel mug. Should’ve known the prizes would be lame.”

Jason replies, “Yeah, how the fuck did Bean and Gordie win so fast? There was only two of them in their group.” 

“Well for one, they’re like smarter than all of us combined, so that probably helped,” Grizz supplies.

“How?” Luke questions.

“I don’t fucking know. It’s fucking hot. I’m going swimming.” Grizz sighs and gets back up from the ground where he had fallen in defeat earlier. There is a chorus of agreements around him. 

On their way back to their tent to get changed into swim trunks, Clark and Jason sandwich Luke in. Clark clears his throat before he begins, “Luke, buddy, you are here-by cut off from making group plans for the time being. Please turn in your team leader badge at the end of the day.” 

~

They swim, throw the balls at each other, and have a contest on who can hold their breath the longest. Becca wins with a whopping two and a half minutes. Sam seems to be enjoying himself hanging with The Guard and not just Grizz. Well, he never seemed like he didn’t before, but right now, it’s different. He’s acting more care-free around them, smiling more, joking back, and having conversations with them too. (With Becca and sometimes Grizz’s help in translating when his friends talk too fast or forget to face him.) It feels like, and Grizz hopes, they’ve adopted him and Becca into The Guard. Or maybe a better way to describe it is they’re like pledge members and this week is their trail. Or something like that. It seems to going good, Grizz thinks. Sam and Luke kind of have the same sense of humor and they bond over that. And dare he say it, but he thinks Clark may be flirting with Becca. Just a tiny bit, nothing for Gwen to be concerned about. It’s just friendly flirting. That’s a thing, right? But the oddly and definitely surprising thing is, Becca doesn’t seem to mind it at all. He could maybe go as far as to say she’s kind of flirting back. If this is the case, what does this spell for the future?

~

They use the wood collected from the scavenger hunt to build a bigger fire this time. They roast hot dogs for dinner and Allie shares marshmallows she brought with them. They don’t have chocolate or graham crackers for actual s’mores, but Grizz still cooks one in the fire. 

Once it catches on fire, he swivels it around to let it burn all over and quickly blows it out. Sam is looking at him like he’s crazy.

Grizz giggles, “What?”

“That is not how you’re supposed to roast a marshmallow.”

“Maybe not but this is my favorite way to eat them.”

Sam grins, “You’re disgusting. The middle won’t even be warm and gooey. That’s like the worst combo; burnt outside, cold middle.”

Grizz deliberately stares him down as he sticks the end of his roasting stick with marshmallow in his mouth, pulls it off with his teeth, and eats it. Sam cringes away from him while laughing. Becca takes a picture of him. Grizz has the urge to ask her to send it to him but that’d probably seem weird.

~

All in all, it’s a good last day at camp. Later that night, when they’re are in the tent, Clark rallies them into pushing the cots out of the middle to sit in a circle to play black jack. Grizz is playing dealer and passes out two cards each to everybody. Grizz flips over one his cards, and the rest flip over both of theirs. 

“Ah, shit. I’m busted again.” Jason falls back on the ground, his head thumping, defeated. 

“Hit me.” Clark and Luke tap the ground, and Grizz passes them a card each. Sam stares his, confused.

Grizz looks down at his hand. It’s a jack and an ace. 

Clark asks, astonished, “How the fuck?” 

He grabs Sam’s attention again before he says, “Okay. You’re good. You don’t need to do anything.”

He still looks confused so he further explains, “Jack counts as a ten and an ace is either one or eleven. You’re trying to get to twenty one without going over.” 

Sam nods.

“Just watch the other’s and you’ll pick it up.” He points at his friend’s hands.

**Okay.**

They continue to play and Sam does catch on after a few rounds. He’s actually pretty lucky with his cards, and wins almost every time. Jason and Clark groan about it every time but Grizz is happy for Sam, who is giddy about winning so many times.

Luke waves at him to get his attention. “Were you just fucking with us? Cause you’re really good, man.”

Sam simply grins back. The little shit.

~

Grizz is woke up by Luke shaking him. It’s a faint light blue so it must be dawn already. Grizz groans and rolls over in his cot. It’s feels like he barely slept. How late did they stay up playing? He turns his head to the left to see Jason is changing out of his sweatpants. Then turns right to see Sam is already packed and ready. Grizz eventually gets up to do the same only he pulls on sweat pants over his shorts, because it’s still a little cold. He rakes his fingers through his hair to work out any tangles and catches Sam watching him.

Grizz signs morning to him and finishes packing up his stuff and folding his blanket. 

~

When everybody starts loading up on the bus, Sam pokes him in the arm as he comes up to him. “Want to sit together?”

Uh, hell yes, Grizz would love that. “Sure, but what about Becca?” 

He points down the bus where Becca is with Kelly, their heads bent together, grinning over something.

Grizz stands up to give Sam the window seat. They stuff their bags under the seat and Grizz spreads his blanket over his lap. Sam lays his pillow against the window and they both fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

When Grizz wakes up again, his head is leaning against the seat in front of him. He sits up and faces Sam who starts laughing at him. 

**What?**

“You have a mark on your forehead.”

Grizz looks at his reflection in his phone to see red marks from the seat cover his forehead. He rubs at them and playing nudges Sam with his shoulder.

**How do you sign J-E-R-K?** He asks, fingerspelling the word jerk. 

This only makes Sam laugh more as he shows him. 

~

It’s a long drive back home. Grizz has Sam show him more signs and makes him practice. It’s actually a lot of fun and Grizz wonders why he hadn’t thought to learn sooner.

“No,” Sam chuckles, “Hold up your arm.” He grabs Grizz’s hand and slides his palm across his other arm. Learning the sign for slow is not important anymore. Sam’s hands are touching his and they’re gentle as they guide Grizz’s. His palm is soft, he notes. When he lets go, it leaves a phantom touch that has Grizz can’t help but focus on. 

“Grizz?”

“Huh?” 

He points at his hands, waiting for him to do it right this time and Grizz complies. He glances at Sam’s hands periodically all throughout the day, even during the lulls in conversation, wishing he could hold one. 

~

They reach home just before eight p.m. and are dropped off near the church in the middle of town. Grizz’s mom is not there, but that’s nothing new. She probably thinks he’ll just catch a ride with one of friends so he asks Luke’s parents if they’ll give him a lift. Grizz is a weird mix of tired and restlessness from sitting all day in a cramped bus. He’d very much like to watch TV and then sleep till noon tomorrow. 

~ 

But things don’t always happen like you want them to. His mom has another boyfriend prospect over for dinner and that explains why she wasn’t there to pick him up. Here’s the gist of his relationship with her: His mom is complex. She’s nice, gives Grizz things, but she hasn’t really been involved in Grizz’s life. She changed after his dad had left, turning into an emotionally stunted shell of the mom he used to know. 

Tonight, since he’s tired, he just gives her a hug and says hello to the man that’s sitting in the same chair his dad used to sit in, and goes up to his bedroom. He plugs in his charger for his phone and his headphones and listens to his favorite playlist on Spotify.

It’s name is Quotable Music. Luke would joke that it’s very on brand of him. 

He reads through his messages between him and Sam. There’s not a lot. Just the star emojis they first sent, a few memes, including the raccoon one, and an unread one that he didn’t realize came in. 

The message consists of three emojis and two words: a bed emoji, a tea cup emoji, and a television emoji. _ Missed this. _

Somehow he still has enough energy in him to feel giddy about getting a text from him. 

Grizz texts back. **Me too. What are you watching?**

The reply is instant. _Jaws._

**You like scary movies?**

_yes._

Grizz can work with that. He’s more of a drama and comedy buff, but he’s seen a few horror movies. 

**Ever seen the movie Jeepers Creepers?**

_yes. Lol. Everybody’s seen that movie._

Well damn. But then something he’s seen advertised on YouTube comes to mind. **Have you seen Us yet?**

_no. not yet. Want to though. _

Grizz bites his lip, his stomach tightens with nerves. **I can rent it from Redbox if you want?.**

The ellipses stays longer this time. _ Really?_

**How about tomorrow? You busy?**

_Only a scheduled nap, but we can work around it._

Grizz huffs a laugh. What a dork. 

_I’ll have my mom drop me off at 2. What’s your address?_

Grizz texts him the address first and then sends another. ** I heard its really scary. Think you can handle it?**

_yep. Lol. Can you?_

Grizz grins stupidly at his phone.

~

Grizz blessedly sleeps in till nine a.m. and when he finally gets up, he takes a shower, using his good soap that smells like lemongrass. He eats a light breakfast and then calls Luke once his mom leaves for work.

“’Lo?”

“Dude, I invited Sam to come over to watch a movie with me. Like not Netflix and Chill, but still. He’s coming over to hang out.” Grizz takes a breath. His voice got a little high on the end there.

“Grizz, that’s awesome. I’m happy for ya. But did you have to call me before 11 p.m.?”

Grizz frowns. “I thought you go running in the mornings? Whatever. I guess I’ll call you back.”

Luke interrupts, “Nah, I’m up now. I usually take a nap when I get back from that. So what are you watching?”

“Us.”

He coos, “Oh, a scary movie.” 

“Yeah.”

“So what’s the problem?”

Grizz stops at what he’s doing, which is drawing scribbles on his note book. “There’s no problem.”

“Grizz, buddy, you wouldn’t be calling me right now at nine in the morning if you weren’t worried about something.”

Grizz sighs. “I’m not worried about any little specific thing. It’s just that I’m nervous.”

“Want me and Helena to come over?”

He hastily answers, “No, no, that’s okay.”

“Just, chill, bro. You got this. Just make some popcorn and put it in one big bowl and turn off the lights and put on the movie. Then when he goes for the popcorn, you go in too and touch his hand. Then as you stare into each other’s eyes, lean in and kiss him. It’s fool proof. I believe you, son.”

What the hell? There is an awkward silence between the two friends as Grizz stares disbelieving at his phone. “Where did that come from?”

“I don’t know. It was a spur of the moment thing. Look, you got this. Just relax and tell him you like him. It’s not like he’s gonna hate you for having feelings.” Luke pauses then says, “Oh, tell you wanna suck his dick.”

Grizz gapes, “I am not going to say that.” He sighs. “Okay. I got to go pick up the movie before he gets here. See you tomorrow?”

“You know it, buddy.”

He hangs up and stands up from the breakfast bar and grabs his keys. It’s a five minutes drive to the nearest Redbox and he uses his mom’s credit card she gave him for emergencies. He’s been pretty good at being responsible with it and not using it for fast food every day like some people (Luke). 

Then a thought occurs to him on the drive back, does he have any popcorn? Not that he’s thinking about actually doing what Luke suggested, but what if Sam wants some? He turns back around to go back into town to buy popcorn and a soda, just in case.

~

Sam’s mom drops him off a little after two p.m. He watches from the little window in the door as he walks up to it. He has his school backpack with him and he’s wearing a hoodie-jacket combo that’s one Grizz’s favorite looks on him.

Grizz opens the door before he can knock and lets him in. **Hi.**

Grizz follows him into the living room and when they reach the couch, he sits down and leans back. He looks comfortable and it puts Grizz at ease. He sits down too, movie momentarily forgotten. Sam unzips his backpack, reaches in, and pulls out a book. It’s Walden by Henry David Thoreau. It is not something he has read yet. Sam gives him a small smile as he hands it over. “Ever read this?”

Grizz shakes his head. “It’s a memoir about a guy trying to live naturally out in the woods. I thought you’d might like it.” Grizz is on the brink of getting emotional right there in front of Sam. He gave him a book. For a few minutes of his day, Sam thought about him and brought him a book. Or maybe he saw the book and then thought of Grizz. Either way, Grizz is touched. No one’s ever brought him a book before and it’s a nice feeling. Reading the summary, it does seem like something Grizz would like. Forget the other book he checked out weeks ago, still sitting on his desk, he’s starting this one next. 

He’s still suck on the fact that Sam was thinking about him. He blinks away the pressure of unwanted tears. Hopefully Sam doesn’t notice. 

**Thank you. **

Grizz feels fingers touch his arm and he looks up at him. He has a soft inviting smile and is leaning just a little bit towards him. “No problem.”

He has a sudden moment of clarity then. Grizz understands now. 

This isn’t really about a book; it’s more about that Sam really sees him. 

~

They talk about movies for awhile. Grizz pulls up his Netflix on the TV. “You should definitely check out Derry Girls. It’s hilarious. Is there a sign for hilarious?”

Sam shows him and Grizz enthusiastically nods. “It’s about these Irish girls and an English guy in the nineties. It’s humorous as fuck.”

Grizz sees Sam take out his phone and jot it down. He waits till Sam looks back up at him before he asks, “Want popcorn?”

Sam does a little nod and beams at Grizz. So Grizz did good there; it feels like a win.

~ 

So Grizz makes him popcorn and no, he does not try to do the hand touch thing, because Sam is a popcorn bowl hogger. He keeps it set in his lap, and Grizz feels too weird about reaching over so he keeps his hands in his lap. Grizz starts the movie, remembering to put captions on. 

He notices Sam leaning over, getting closer to his ear. He whispers, “Think there’s any jump scares?” His breath fanning over his skin is the only thing he can focus on. The feel of it; it making him shiver. Grizz knows he hadn’t done it in the way he would have liked to have taken it. You know, in a flirty way. It’s just Sam being funny with a friend as far as he’s concerned. But Sam must of seen the affect it had on Grizz because he did not think to put on a mask of coolness. He must of seen the way his chest stilled halfway through an inhale. There’s no way he couldn’t have, sitting so close and watching him, but Grizz tries to put on air of indifference once he collects himself.

Grizz takes a drink of his soda to hide how bad that affected him. Then he tries to act normal and says as casually as he can, “Probably. I heard it’s better than Get Out.” 

Sam watches him for a moment, with an unreadable expression that Grizz tries to ignore. Sam sits back and continues eating popcorn. Halfway during the movie, he deliberately bumps his knee against Grizz’s. 

Grizz is at a loss for what it means. He glances over at him to see Sam is watching the movie, or at least pretending to be. It’s another minute of Grizz overthinking it before he just decides to return it. Sam cracks a smile, still watching the damn movie.

Was that flirting just now? Are they flirting with each other? Is there really a possibility that Sam likes him? 

Grizz is still too chicken to find out for sure. When the movie ends, (And Grizz couldn’t pay attention to last half. Totally missed the twist at the end. He got too in his head about the knee bump and the whisper against his ear to really care about it.) Sam stretches languidly in his spot. The empty popcorn bowl now sits on the coffee table. “Dude,” (And there’s that nickname again.) “I think I liked Get Out more.” And since Grizz didn’t pay attention to the last half, he can’t really form an opinion on it so he can’t argue with that. He just shrugs and hopes Sam doesn’t start asking about what he thought cause he’s then screwed. 

They cook a frozen pizza and while it’s in the oven, Grizz takes him outside to show him his garden. There is a space in the back that is just his. His mom never really comes back here. There are buckets where he grows tomatoes and flowers bed where he grows carrots and other various vegetables he’s interested in trying. One year, he tried broccoli and it grew one head and nothing else for the remainder of that season. Another summer, he decided to try lavender and he still has loads of dried bushes of it hung in the basement. Sometimes if he remembers he’ll bring some up to his room and crush the petals in a bowl to release the relaxing scent. “I haven’t planted any seeds yet. It’s still too cold at night right now.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“Since I was twelve. My dad left at that time and I was stuck at home by myself in the summers, so I got bored a lot. I found old seeds in the shed and decided to plant them one day. Only one tiny flower grew out of it but I started to really take an interest in it after that.” Grizz huffs when he notices Sam is holding back from grinning. “What?” 

“Nothing. I just didn’t peg you as an one of those agriculture nerds.” Grizz is flabbergasted that he is making fun of him. He gapes at him. 

“You know, you’re a lot meaner than I first expected.” 

His laughter dies down, still grinning though, “Sorry, I’m not making fun of you.”

Grizz interjects, “Sure sounds like it.”

“No really, growing tomatoes is cool.” His eyes are filled with mirth.

Grizz pushes his shoulder lightly, and points a thumb back at the house. “Let’s go check on the pizza, jerk. Then, for your punishment for being mean, you will teach me more signs.”

“Okay.” He agrees, not having any objections and follows him closely back inside. 

~

There were a few close calls that evening where he really wanted to kiss Sam. Like spur of the moment, just do it kind of feeling. But something always held him back. For the first occurrence, he doesn’t because they are eating pizza and that would be really gross, right? Wouldn’t be attractive at all. But sitting next to him at the bar, their legs touching, it’s very tempting. The second time, when they are watching an episode of B99, Sam laughs at something that Jake does on screen and Grizz nearly wants to jump him, but he should definitely ask for consent before doing any of that, right? And there’s no way Grizz has the balls to actually ask that out loud or even in sign. He doesn’t know the sign for kiss anyway, so it doesn’t happen there either. The third time is when Sam is getting ready to leave, leaning on the door to put his shoes back on. Grizz just watches him like a dumbass. When he straightens back up, he thanks Grizz for inviting him over and continues standing there, waiting for Grizz’s reply.

“Yeah. We should this again sometime. Whenever you want. I’m not usually busy after school anymore.” 

Sam nods at this but continues waiting. He’s biting his lip, suddenly looks nervous and what the hell does that mean? Grizz is freaking out. Does he want Grizz to kiss him? Should he do it now? But before he can even work up the courage through his body, Sam reaches over for him and hugs him. It’s pleasant. Really nice actually. He hugs him tight around the middle and it’s warm and possibly his favorite hug. 

Grizz spends the rest of his Sunday thinking back on it and practicing signs using the apps and YouTube.


	2. Chapter 2

**Beginning of April**

On Monday morning, Grizz forgets it’s April Fools. So when he walks into his first class to find nobody there except one other student that’s a junior, he’s a little confused and concerned. “Where is everybody?” 

The kid, Grizz doesn’t even know his name, looks at him like he’s dumb which hey, that’s totally unwarranted, no-name junior kid. “It’s senior skip day.”

Which is how Grizz finds out that his friends set him up to be the only senior there that day. Apparently all the seniors were in on it and only Grizz is the victim of this April Fools prank. He tries to sneak back out of the class before the teacher arrives, but the bell rings and he walks in. He shuts the door behind, and he can tell he’s surprised to see Grizz there. “Uh, Grizz, take your seat, please.”

So there’s no chance of escaping now. Grizz is the only senior there that day and he sticks out like a sore thumb, but he stays just to spite them when they probably expect him to just walk out. It’s especially lonely when lunch time comes, and he decides he’s had enough of this and goes out to the fieldhouse. He talks with his former coaches for a moment and hangs out in the gym room for the remainder of the day. He only works out for an hour though. At two o’clock he finally calls a quits on staying and goes out to his car. He texts Luke and Sam before he heads back home.

The message to Luke is: ** That was very mean of you. You meaner. I’m having my own senior skip day and no one’s invited.**

The message to Sam is: ** Were you in on this? I thought we were friends. You’ve been REDACTED. **

Replies from Sam are usually instant but none come. Probably having too much fun on senior skip day, Grizz guesses. Also why would they make it the first day back? He thinks it would’ve been better if it were on a Friday sometime in the middle of April, for a three day weekend. But he has to give it to his class. They really fooled him, because he had no idea, no clues, no suspicions. He thinks the only time they could have collectively planned this was when he was sick that day at camp. No way could Clark or Jason not spill the beans if the wait was any longer. 

~

Grizz ignores his friend’s texts for the rest of Monday just to spite them again, even Sam. And on Tuesday, they all apologize and he’s never been one to stay mad for long, so he forgives them. They leave campus at lunch to eat at McDonalds and Grizz gets the idea to bring something back for Sam. So he texts him and he gets back a _Surprise me._ So he gets him an Oreo McFlurry and medium fries. Luke gives him knowing looks, but Clark and Jason are a little confused on the ride back when Grizz just holds the flurry and doesn’t eat it. 

“Bro, your flurry’s gonna melt. Are you gonna eat it?”

“It’s not for him. It’s for Sam.” Luke pipes up from beside him, saying Sam’s name in a way that implies teasing. Grizz kicks him in the leg. Jason stares at him suspiciously from the passenger seat. “You guys buddies now? That’s cool. We should ask him if he wants to come next time.”

Luke silently asks him a question using his eyebrows. Grizz doesn’t know what the fuck to make out of it. He points in Jason and Clark’s direction with his eyes. Grizz still has no clue.

Luke sighs and pulls out his phone and texts him. It reads: ** You know, you could tell them. They won’t care that you’re gay.**

Grizz firmly shakes his head at him and texts back. **No. And certainly not while Clark is driving.**

“True.” Luke says out loud.

“What?” Clarks asks.

Luke hums, “Nothin’, bro.”

Grizz does think about it though. Luke practically guessed at it and took it well. Clark and Jason, to Grizz’s knowledge has never made homophobic comments, so there’s a chance they’d probably be okay with it too.

But he puts it on the back burner when they get back on campus. He finds Sam in the courtyard with Becca. Shit, he totally forgot about her. 

“Hey,” Grizz walks up to them. “Becca, I’m forgot to ask if you wanted anything. Sorry about that. You guys should come with us next time and I’ll buy you whatever you want.” That was smooth as fuck, in his own opinion, trying to casually invite them join. Becca smiles up at him. “That’s okay, Grizz. I’ll just steal some of Sam’s fries.”

“Offer still stands.” 

Becca and Sam share a look. One that Grizz is very eager to know what means. But the bell rings, ending lunch period. Sam signs his thanks and Grizz waves goodbye as he heads back inside to go to AP English 4. 

Something doesn’t sit right in his stomach about that look though. He’s starts to think he’s being obvious about his fucking crush on Sam and they’ve both figured him out.

~

On Thursday, Grizz hangs out with The Guard at Clark’s and gets high with them. His parents aren’t home so they’re chilling on the couch. Luke is scrolling on his phone beside him and to his astonishment, it’s a website for engagement rings. 

“Bro, are you proposing to Helena?”

Clark and Jason stop wrestling on the floor and stare up at him.

Luke bites his lip and nods. “I’m thinking about it, yeah.” 

“Dude!” Clark yells.

“But I want to do it with a ring, you know. I’m still saving up for one, so it’s still gonna be a while,” He says, “But I want to do it before we leave for college.”

He shows Grizz his phone. “What about that one? Not to flashy, not too simple either. Perfect, don’t you think?”

“Luke, you sure about this?” Jason asks him.

“Helena’s special. I’d like to make her feel special. She looks at me like she can see who I can become, not just as her high school boyfriend. When you find somebody like that, you’ll do anything for them.”

And Grizz realizes for the first time how insightful Luke is. He’s not just blowing smoke (well, technically he is), he’s speaking from the heart right now. Even Clark and Jason look thoughtful about it. 

So, inspired by Luke’s little speech, he gets the sudden courage it takes for him to finally stop dragging his ass about Sam. He’s not putting off telling Sam any longer. In the peak of his high, he texts him to meet him in the green house at the school the next morning. Why the green house of all places? Well he does have watering duty that morning, but still. What a weird place to choose to come out to/ask out somebody. Sober Grizz is just thankful Buzzed Grizz had the sense to not do it over text.

~

Grizz wakes up the next morning, nerves waived off from the high last night are fully back and kicking his ass. He stares at the message he sent last night for a fully five minutes, trying to will it away. No luck. It stays right where it is above Sam’s reply of thumbs up emojis. Didn’t even question Grizz’s motives; just goes along with it. That’s one thing he likes about Sam, and that he’s outgoing and is genuinely interested to learn new things, like the gardening stuff or personal things about Grizz. He pays attention and Grizz finds himself drawn to that. 

Grizz low key worries about his appearance that day, ultimately chooses his favorite flannel since it’s kind of a good luck charm for him. Or so he hopes. He’ll need all the luck he can get. He arrives thirty minutes before class starts. He heads straight to the green house on shaky legs and there is only a few times he pauses, trying to figure out what he’s going to say. As if he hasn’t been thinking about it all morning. Most people that arrive early hang out in the courtyards, cafeteria, or gym. He doesn’t know why high-Grizz picked the most secluded area to meet Sam. If he were Sam, he’d be very suspicious. But at last, he reaches the green house, a five minute walk to practically the other side of campus. He’s so fucking stupid. Is he really going to go through with this? What were his reasons again? Oh yeah, Luke spewing inspirational shit last night about Helena. The next time Grizz gets high, he’s gonna leave his phone in his car. And he’s not saying he’s changing his mind. He’s just freaking the fuck out right now about what he’s gonna say. Should he admit he’s gay, then confess? Or just skip to the ladder? He walks in, determined to go through with this, but it’s simply squandered upon seeing Becca there with Sam already. He does _not_ want an audience. 

Grizz ends up just asking them to help water the plants. This is also where he tells them he is indeed in agriculture which for some reason every body forgets and thinks he’s just some jock that’s only involved in football.

His whole mood is off for the rest of the day. Disappointed in himself, but also a little bit relieved. His emotions whiplash back and forth like that even when he hangs out with Luke after school. 

~

Wednesday and Thursday of the second week of April are an absolute shit show at school. Gwen breaks up with Clark very publicly Wednesday morning after she’s dropped off by some dude named Seth. Clark sees this and follows her into the gym, and the gym is not a place to have confrontations, okay? For one, everyone sitting in the bleachers will have perfect view and two, the acoustics. To make a long story short, her reasoning’s are that they weren’t that serious and it’s not like they were going to keep dating after she left for college. Her words, not Grizz’s. 

And Grizz really liked Gwen, but that was kind of shitty of her to do that to Clark in front of everybody and not have the decency to do it in private. 

Grizz had followed them in there, and stayed back a bit, but when Gwen walked off to join her friends up in the bleachers, he grabs his friend’s arm and pulls him out of the gym and leads him to the side of the building where no one waits. He goes willingly and quietly, which is how he knows how bad he’s affected.

“Hey man, do you want to get out of here?”

This is about the time Luke and Jason (with Erika and Helena) pull up in the parking lot and spot them.

Clark’s not talking, just standing there staring at the ground. One side of his mouth pulls up and he looks like he’s on the verge of crying. 

“Come on, man.” He leads him to his car, his hand around his shoulders. 

“Hey, what’s going on?”

Grizz makes the cut throat gesture to Luke, who stops in his tracks. Grizz sees him tell something to Helena and jogs over to them. Helena thankfully doesn’t stick around and heads toward the courtyard with Erika. They both have sympathizing eyes, so Grizz realizes that they knew. Jason is right behind Luke.

“Hey, what’s going on?” 

“Gwen just broke up with me.”

They both stop, shocked. “What?” 

“Why?”

Clark shrugs and leans against Grizz’s car and crosses his arm. “What the fuck?” He mutters to himself. 

They give him a moment before saying anything, standing around awkwardly. Luke leans beside him and they wait for their friend to collect himself. Grizz is just relieved his other friends have the sense to know that insulting Gwen is not the appropriate reaction. (You know, like saying ‘fuck her’ or ‘who needs that bitch’, which Jason has said in the past in situations like these when a girl breaks up with his bro.) That would probably only hurt Clark more. 

“You want to leave?” Grizz asks again. 

Clark wipes at his eyes and eventually says, sounding a little broken, “Nah, you guys can stay. I think I’m gonna go though.”

“You sure?” 

Clark assures him, “I’m good to drive myself, Grizz.”

He lays a hand on his shoulder as a means to comfort him but also to get him to look up. “You sure?”

He nods. 

“Okay, but text us. Alright?”

He just nods again, and Grizz knows he’s not alright. Grizz wouldn’t be if someone he dated for two years suddenly broke it off with him. They watch as their friend drives off before turning to each other.

Jason is the first to exclaim, “Um, what the fuck? What happened?” So Grizz tells them everything and it’s decided they do not like Gwen very much at the moment. Jason tries to talk to Erika about it but she didn’t know anything besides Gwen was thinking about ending it. Luke asks Helena what she knew which was apparently everything.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Helena puts down her juice box. “Because she told me she was going to break up with him after prom. I didn’t know she’d meet up with this guy before then. You guys aren’t the only ones pissed at her. She told me she was going to handle it the right way.”

Later on that day, Grizz gets too distracted texting Clark to notice he’s been caught by his hard-ass teacher. Which is how he ends up getting after school detention. Campbell is there and is very surprised by the very rare appearance of Gareth Visser. 

Grizz doesn’t have a problem with Campbell. They’ve never had classes together in all twelves grades, so they’ve never really interacted. The only thing he really knows about him is he’s Sam’s brother, (whose mentioned he doesn’t like him very much), he’s a bit a bully, and is sly with the teachers all the time. And since learning that his own brother is not in his favor, and Grizz has no reason not to trust Sam’s judge of character, he decides Campbell is not someone he wants to get chummy with. 

He takes the seat furthest from him, but this doesn’t seem to deter the other at all. Grizz is hit in the back of the head by a ball of paper. He knows who did it. It’s only the two of them in there right now. Which by the way, where the fuck is the teacher?

Grizz picks up the paper and unfolds it. The message rings loud and clear and makes him feel hot all over. It reads: You’ve got the hots for my brother, don’t you? 

He knows he shouldn’t. It’ll only egg him on, but he looks back at him. 

Campbell gets up from his seat, slinks over to him, and sits down on the desk in front of him. He starts casually, “You know, I’ve noticed you two have been hanging out more since the trip. And I couldn’t help but think as to what motives Gareth Visser would suddenly have to hang out with my brother. And considering he’s not very athletic, and you don’t have classes together, I started to think outside the box. So, am I right?” He smirks down at him. Grizz almost begins to squirm in his seat, but holds still, because that would be a dead give away.

Who does this guy thinks he is? A fucking detective?

His reaction is to be defensive about it. “So what you’re assuming is that I must be gay too to want to hang out with your brother?” Grizz’s heartbeat is rapidly fluttering against his chest. He somehow fucking manages to not redden after saying this aloud. It’s a god damn miracle. 

“Not assuming, man. You can’t assume when it’s fact.” And that throws Grizz off. He doesn’t even get the chance to deny, because the teacher walks in then and Campbell sits down in the chair. He’s forced to stare at the back of his head for thirty minutes. At one point, in a split second of hot anger and panic, he imagines putting his hands around his neck and wringing it. Sam was right. He is an asshole. 

He keeps thinking, how can someone so sweet can be related to someone like him? How did they grow up in the same house and come out so different?

He’ll have to ask Sam about it sometime. But right now, he’s got to worry about Campbell spreading his secret, because Grizz doesn’t think he could persuade him he’s wrong. 

When the thirty minutes are up, he doesn’t waste time high tailing it out of there to his car. Campbell smiles all knowingly as he leaves. It grates on his nerves all the way to Clark’s house. The first thing he asks for is where is the weed instead of checking on Clark. 

He doesn’t know what to do or think. Should he go see Sam and tell him before his brother can? Will his brother tell him? Will he spread it around school that Grizz is gay? Or make up rumors? He’s trying to figure out what his angle is. He should have stayed behind and confronted him more about it, but his flight or fight responses told him to get the hell out of Dodge in that moment. 

Clark’s a little mopey, but continues playing Fortnite with the guys. Grizz lays down on the couch and tries to shut his mind off for a little while with the aid of weed, in hopes that he’ll be able to think more clearly and less panicked on what to do later. 

He wakes up the next morning still on Clark’s couch. His parents are literally never home and this isn’t the first time this has happened. 

Clark is already dressed and lounging in the recliner near him. “Bro, I want to go to school today. Go take a shower. You can borrow some of my shit.” 

So Grizz reluctantly gets up and does that. The dreaded feeling that manifested before he went to sleep is still there in the pit of his stomach and he’s too tense on the ride to school. Campbell’s words never really left his mind. And surprisingly, his friends don’t seem to notice the change in his demeanor. Grizz hangs out in his car till the warning bell, waiting till the last possible second to have to face everybody and find out if Campbell said anything or not. He was too afraid to check his social media. Clark doesn’t have a problem with hanging out here, just slumps in his seat and plays best fiends on his phone. He’s still a little gloomy but better. He’s not staring off into space with anger anymore at least.

~

He’s been holding his breath, barely breathing the first minutes of class. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting. He never got any text last night or this morning from Sam, but he could be waiting to talk to him in person. No one is looking at him any differently, so that’s a good start.

The whole day he’s a little on edge. One, the Campbell thing. Two, Clark tries to talk with Gwen privately at lunch. He comes back sullen and Jason tries to console him with a pat on his shoulder but it doesn’t do shit as you can imagine.

He has the unfortunate timing to spot Campbell in halls the same time he is smirking at Grizz. 

He weirdly doesn’t see Sam or Becca the whole two days. Or hears from him via text which is odd, considering they’ve started texting each other almost everyday.

~

Grizz finally relaxes a little when he’s there on Friday and waves at Grizz, smiling. Grizz waves back and walks over to him, still worried if Campbell told him. There’s still a little time before class starts. Becca is absent.

“Hey, where’s Becca?” 

“Home. Still sick.”

“Were you too?”

“Uh, yes.”

Grizz is watching closely, looking for any clues in the way he’s looking or acting that may suggest he knows, but he’s seems normal. And maybe a little bit tired. That’s good. Grizz takes his first unhindered breath.

Grizz comes up with the plan in study hall. Just because Campbell didn’t do it last night when he could have, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t in the future. He needs to tell Sam soon, before Campbell does. If he’s going to find out, he’d rather it be from him. It’s not what he wants, the timing feels all wrong to rule in his favor but maybe this lump of stress on his chest will stop crushing him after. He’ll invite him over to hang out like last time. 

So at the end of the school day, he falls into step beside him in the courtyard to the parking lot. 

He taps him on the shoulder. “Hey, you busy?”

“Going to Becca’s.”

“Oh.”

**Why?**

“Wanted to see if you wanted to hang out?”

“Well, I’m not going to be long there. We can afterwards?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Cool.” **Your house?**

Grizz nods and heads to his car.

Grizz picks up his room and the living room while he waits for Sam to get there. He could be doing his homework but it’d be moot to try right now when he can’t even seem to focus on even cleaning. He keeps going over what’s he going to say. At some point he gets the bright idea to look up how to say it with sign too, but that’s a lot of signs. And not enough time to remember it all.

His mom is not there but that’s normal. It’s Friday night after all. She hangs out with Luke’s mom and goes to the spa at this time like clockwork. The door bell rings and Grizz mindlessly fixes his pillows before rushing down the stairs to let him in. 

Sam moves slowly, and almost awkwardly. There’s something wrong and Grizz’s first instinct is that he knows now and has came over to tell Grizz that he doesn’t feel the same. But then he surprises him when he steps forward and hugs him. 

“Hey,” He pulls back to look at him, hands still on his shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just been a rough couple days.”

“Same here. You want to talk about it?”

Sam hums, “Maybe later.”

“Okay.”

~ 

They do talk about the last couple days at school. More specifically what happened with Clark and Gwen. He doesn’t mention his brother. But he can’t really focus on any of it when really all he wants to do is get over what he set out to do. Sam must be sensing the tension from him, because he keeps dumping his shoulder against his on the couch, meaning for it to be a sign of comfort but the contact just makes him more nervous. Like what if after he tells him, he’s starts being careful not to touch him? 

The biggest question is would Sam still want to be friends afterwards? Like it’s okay if he just wants to stay friends. Grizz isn’t the kind of person to just stop talking to somebody after he’s been friend zoned. Then again, he’s never really been in a situation where it really mattered to him if he was rejected.

And there’s a whole other thing that’s got him worried. Sam would be a lot of Grizz’s first in the sense of dating guys. And what if Grizz fucks up something? Like it’s a given he’s gonna fuck up somewhere. They’re young; it’s what they do. 

“Wait a minute.” Sam stops him from scrolling through his Netflix. It’s currently on his list, specifically on Riverdale. “You like Riverdale?” It’s asked in an incredulous tone, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

“What’s wrong with Riverdale?” Grizz asks him.

“The writing is horrible. The way Cheryl and Veronica talk. Nobody talks like that!” He laughs. “Plus some of the scenes are just cringe as hell. I’m sorry, but I think this is gonna be a deal breaker. I won’t be able to look at you the same way now knowing you like shitty TV shows.”

“Well, have you seen Netflix’s Sabrina show? It’s good and it’s in the same universe as Riverdale. Bet you didn’t know that.”

“Dude, I have the Archie comics. I know all about it.” Grizz finds this new tidbit of Sam incredibly dorky, but it’s also kind of attracting him more if that’s even possible.

“You read comics? Geek.”

Sam knocks his knee into his. “They’re not geeky; they’re cool. Come over to my house sometime and I’ll show you them. Besides, you unironically read Sherlock Holmes.”

Grizz gapes at him. 

He keeps going, “I bet you own like all of them. You probably have a whole shelf dedicated to old classics. You’re really nerdy, you know that?”

Somehow all this teasing has took his mind off of other things and he relaxes back into the couch more. But to retaliate, he grabs the decorative pillow beside him and whacks Sam in the chest. He guffaws at the strength Grizz accidently puts into it and tries to takes the pillow from him. But Grizz manages to take it back and hides it behind him. Sam, in his determination to get it, has sat up more and is much more closer now. But Grizz is much more stronger than him and manages to not let any give on the pillow. He gives up after a minute and leans back on the couch again, huffing. 

Grizz could kiss him right now. He really wants to. Looking away from his lips, hoping he wasn’t staring too long for Sam to notice, but judging by his eyes, he totally has, fuck. Grizz swallows and realizes he’s on the verge of fucking crying. The pressure under his eyes is building. And Sam is not looking away and he’s a little overwhelmed. Fuck it, he’s already been caught. He might as well get this over with.

“Sam.” He manages to get out after hesitating for a minute.

He lifts his eyebrows, “Yeah?”

Grizz presses his lips together firmly before asking the first thing that comes to him, “Can I kiss you?” He didn’t even have the balls to keep eye contact with him, ended up staring down at his own lap.

It’s an intense few seconds for Grizz as he waits. Sam doesn’t say anything. Instead he leans forward, gently lifts Grizz’s head back up with fingers under his chin, and gently kisses him. His lips are softer than he was expecting, but firm. It quickly escalates and Grizz just breathes through his nose so they don’t have to stop. It’s better than hugs, so much better. Closer and intimate. It’s what Grizz needs and has always wanted. He doesn’t think he could stop now that he’s knows what it’s like. To kiss someone that he actually wants to kiss. It’s so much different than with his past girlfriends. Heavier, more passionate, more real. Sweet. Really sweet.

But when they finally do break apart, Sam says breathlessly against his lips, “I’ve been wanting to do that since the camping trip.” 

Grizz blinks, shocked at this admission and backs up so Sam can see him sign. ** Really?**

Sam chuckles, “Don’t be so surprised. You’re really sweet and cute, can you blame me?”

Grizz is just happy. There’s no other word to describe it. “So would you like to go on a date with me this weekend?” 

Sam kisses him again. Grizz takes that as a yes.

~

Campbell is the least of his worries now. He doesn’t really give a shit if everybody finds out if he has Sam by his side. (And Luke. Let’s not forget him.) 

~ 

Somehow Grizz ends up hovering over him on the couch. They’re making out when he hears his mom’s car pull up in the drive. Grizz gets up off him, much to Sam’s dismay, but he very much wouldn’t like his mom to meet Sam for the first time underneath him on the living room couch. 

** What’s up? **

“Mom’s home.” He does the sign for mother, but can’t remember the sign for home. He makes a note to look that one up later. “Come on, I want to introduce you.” He holds out a hand for Sam to take, which he does. Neither one lets go as they walk to the front door. 

His mom seems to have made a pit stop at work after the spa as she has case files tucked under one arm. She gives him a small smile when she sees Grizz there. “Hey, kiddo. You mind making dinner tonight? I’ve got to look over these before Monday.” She takes off her sunglasses and sets them down on the table. She’s looks over to Sam and smiles at him too. 

“That’s fine.” Grizz gestures to Sam with his free hand. He’s making a point not to let go of Sam’s hand unless Sam wants to. He wants to do this. Show Sam he’s not the hiding type. Also he just really likes holding his hand now that he knows it’s so warm and inviting. “This is Sam.”

“Hi, nice to meet you.” 

He sees the small reaction his mother has upon hearing Sam’s accent. She doesn’t say anything about it though and for some reason that’s a relief. 

“Well, I’m going to be in my office. Will you come get me when dinner’s ready?”

“Sure.”

Okay, so either his mother didn’t notice their hands at all or he missed it when he was busy looking at Sam. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Grizz is absolutely done hiding. When the door to her office clicks shut, Grizz turns back to Sam who looks a little confused. “She’s not really the hovering type,” He explains. He pulls Sam with him into the kitchen. “You’re going to help me make dinner. No buts.”

Sam sits down on a stool at the breakfast bar. “What are we making then, chef?”

Grizz opens the fridge to find . . . absolutely nothing but milk and eggs. He looks in the freezer next and God must be looking out for him because there is frozen chicken patties and French fries in there.

He pulls them out to hold victoriously up in air for Sam to see and beams at him. “Any objections to fried food?”

“Nope. None here.”

When the fryer heats up all the way, Grizz is careful putting the fries in. Thank God, they upgraded to one with a basket. Grizz absolutely dreaded trying to throw the fries in before. Now he can gently place them in the basket and the basket gently in the cooker. 

He breathes out a sigh of relief when the oil doesn’t start to sputter loudly. He turns back to Sam, who has sat looking pretty this whole time. He’s looking at Grizz funny. “Why are you being a nut?”

“Frying fries is scary. I hate it. Absolutely worst thing a person can fry at home. I hate the noise it makes.” Grizz sits down on the stool beside him and twists to face him.

“The noise?”

“Yeah, it’s like this sputtering sizzling noise.”

Sam hums. “Bad noise then?”

“In my opinion, yes.” Grizz really wants to stop talking about fries frying noises and get back to kissing but that would be ill advised considering the task at hand could very well end in fire if he gets distracted. 

It doesn’t take much convincing to get Sam to stay longer this time. He eats dinner with them. Well, with Grizz. His mom takes her plate back up with her to her office. Grizz takes him up to his room for the first time afterwards. 

“Can’t believe I haven’t taken you up here yet,” Grizz mumbles to himself. He steps in and makes a grand gesture to his room. “Welcome to my room. And yes, I know it’s like really basic but also unusually clean for a teenage guy some might say.”

Sam makes a beeline for his bookshelf. “Wow, you actually have a shelf full of old famous books.”

Grizz stands beside him and waits for Sam to look back up at him before saying, “Hey, don’t make fun of the classics. They’re classic! And really quotable.” 

He calls Grizz something in sign that he does not know.

“What’s that mean?” 

He ignores Grizz to pick up his copy of A Brief History of Time and turns back to Grizz, “You’re a nerd.”

Grizz scoffs.

Sam continues before Grizz can retort back, “It’s cute. You’re cute.”

Grizz can’t complain with that. He pulls the book out of his hands and sets it back down on the shelf. He grabs Sam’s hand and he willingly follows him to his bed. They sit facing each other with their legs crossed, much like that second night of the trip in the tent.

They mostly talk and it’s nice. He’s happy that Sam likes him back; that he wants to date him. His nerves are still there, but it’s mostly out of excitement and anticipation. He wants to do so much with Sam. Take him out, kiss him, simply hang out with him alone or with their friends, or just sit there and talk. Grizz loves that part the most actually. Some of the things he shares with Sam, he’s never really brought up with his friends: like being gay or in the closet (except for with Luke recently and that stills blows his mind sometimes), or his rocky relationship with his mom, about how he’s actually a little terrified to leave for college, being nervous about living in a dorm and having a room mate.

He believes Sam feels the same way, that he can trust Grizz when he tells him things like: about his brother (which should not surprise Grizz at all, because it makes total sense, but it does), about how he lost his hearing, how he still remembers sounds from before, and can hear them when he dreams, that he’s taking a gap year (which Grizz is a little jealous of) to work at his parent’s store to save up money before he starts college the year after. 

Grizz cannot explain the pure elation he felt when he told him that he plans to go to the same college as Grizz. It shouldn’t surprise him that much. A lot of kids from here end up going there because it’s the closet university to home, only an hour and a half drive. This isn’t why Grizz chose it, but it’s now a contender if things between him and Sam get serious and he really hopes it does. (That means they can visit each other maybe. Hopefully.)

Grizz holds out his hand for Sam’s, who doesn’t hesitate to give it. He brings it up closer to inspect it. There’s a little circular scar on the back that Grizz never noticed before. 

“What’s that from?” He uses his other hand to sign with. 

Sam is hesitant to say. Grizz can tell by the way his hand jerks back a little, but he ultimately keeps it in Grizz’s grasp. He’s also frowning. Grizz feels like a dick now for asking about some miniscule mark on his body that’s obviously bringing up bad memories.

But Sam eventually just mumbles, “Kitchen accident,” as the only explanation and Grizz doesn’t want to seem pushy so he accepts that and quickly moves on to something else. 

They talk about mundane shit too. Like they’re favorite colors, school subjects, favorite TV shows. Grizz shows him a picture on his phone of his old dog that died recently. 

“His name was Buddy. Original, I know.” Grizz swipes to another of him holding the little boston terrier. “Best little doggie I’ve ever had. I want to get another pet but since I’m going to college soon and can’t take it with me, I’ll have to wait. Besides if I leave it here, it’ll be more like my mom’s dog, you know?”

Sam nods his head. 

“Do you have any pets?”

Sam shakes his head. “No, can’t really have pets in the same house with Campbell.”

He feels bad for Sam. “That sucks. But you do like animals?”

“Yeah, I used to have a little parrot, but . . . Campbell.”

Grizz holds up a hand. “You don’t have to explain. Talking about that shit is probably hard, right?” 

Sam exhales, relieved. “Yeah, thank you. I tried explaining to Becca one time and ended up crying.” He doesn’t seem embarrassed to admit that kind of thing, like he’s really comfortable sharing things like that with him. It spurs him to tell him about the detention he had last week with Campbell.

“Honestly, I thought he was going to tell the whole school and I’m not really scared of that. I just didn’t want you to find out through him.”

“About what?”

“That I have a huge thing for you, duh.” 

“Oh,” Sam chuckles. “Why were you worried about that?”

“I was scared to find out if you didn’t like me like that. I was really fucking nervous.”

Sam has his sweet smile present again, the one that’s Grizz’s favorite. He leans closer to Grizz, places a hand right above his knee and gently kisses him. He takes his time to pull back. “Well, you don’t have to worry anymore.”

Grizz sucks in his bottom lip and bites down on it. He would very much like to pull Sam in for more, but his mom’s home now, and he’d be mortified if she heard them. But his body is not listening to him anymore because his want wins out as he tackles Sam to his bed. They only make out, stopping before it gets to the point of not stopping.

Sam’s mom picks him up a little after nine and the very first thing he does besides doing a happy dance right there behind the closed front door is call up Luke. 

He answers after the fifth ring and Grizz hurries back into his room and shuts his door before saying anything, “Dude, it happened. We kissed and now we’re going out this weekend.”

“Dude!”

“I know. I don’t know why I was so worried.”

“I do. You’re you. Anyways, I’m fucking happy for you, man.” Luke sounds genuinely excited for him. This is the moment he realizes just how much he appreciates having Luke as a friend. Fuck, he hopes they stay in touch after graduation. Everyone knows you loose touch with high school friends, it’s like one of life’s inevitabilities. But if there’s one friend he could keep for the rest of his life, it’d be Luke. 

~

He wishes he could say his mom came in later to check on him and ask him about Sam, but he can’t. Grizz actually doesn’t hear from her again until the next morning. And even then, she mostly keeps to herself.

~

One thing he didn’t anticipate going out with the same sex and not being publicly out, is people who know you just assume you’re just buddies hanging out. Which in a sense kind of relaxes Grizz, because Sam is a friend. And first dates are always a little nerve wracking, so if he thinks about it like two friends just going on a friend-date, he might stay more relaxed and ultimately have a better experience. (Or at least this is just what Grizz is telling himself.) Another more negative thing he didn’t anticipate is when your buddies that you are not out to spot you out with another friend that they also know, they naturally want to join in on the fun. 

So Grizz finds himself squished to the wall in a booth at Matteo’s that Saturday. Sam is on the other side (because it is more easier to talk with him that way) equally squished. The squashers are (you guessed it) Jason, his girlfriend and Clark. Clark has opted to sit with Grizz, since Sam is a smaller stature and gives the other two that side. 

They have already ordered and settled in before Grizz can even make a complaint. 

“Um, guys. What are you doing here?” What a stupid fucking question. Did he really just become that person in movies where they ask the most obvious thing and everybody kind of looks at them like they’re a simpleton.

Which is what Jason is doing. “Eating pizza, duh.” 

Sam sits quietly and rolls the paper from his straw around his fingers. He got a little quiet after his friends sat down but doesn’t say anything or give Grizz any looks like he should do something about it. What should he do? Accept his fate that their first official date is now basically a double date plus a fifth wheel. Should he tell them to find another booth? That would look suspicious. And Grizz is not prepared to tell them he’s on a date with Sam. That he’s gay. He’s just not ready. He doesn’t want a whole crowd when he comes out to them. He’d planned to do it the next time they got high and preferably with Luke there as moral support. 

So he leans back on his seat, like a coward, and hopes Sam understands as he tries to apologize through his eyes. Sam is a saint because he gives him a little forgiving smile back. Then he feels the side of a shoe slide in beside his and their ankles are touching. Sam is looking up at him through his eyelashes and it’s so alluring to Grizz, he has tamp down the urge to ask him if he wants to leave early. He wants Sam to look at him like that forever.

“Grizz, aren’t you working here for the summer?” Erika pulls him away from his thoughts.

“Uh, yeah.”

While they eat, he thinks up of ways he’ll make it up to Sam.

~

“I psychically can not stand up right now. I think I ate too much,” Clark groans to the group. He slumps down in their booth more. 

“You did. You ate like half of my share,” Erika comments, not looking up from her phone.

“I’m think I’m having a pizza hangover.”

“What’s that?” Jason has the gall to ask. . . Well, it’s pretty self explanatory. 

“It’s when you eat so much pizza, all the crust absorbs all of your liquid, thus you start to feel dehydrated, thus you enter a pizza hangover state of mind.” 

Okay, apparently there was more to it then Grizz thought.

“Bro, me too,” Jason groans.

“Me three,” Erika groans as well.

They all three turn to look at him and Sam. Grizz shrugs, “I only ate three slices so. . . I’m good.”

It’s almost seven o’clock and Grizz is ready to book it with Sam. He didn’t come up with any extravagant way to fix this night but he hopes the second date (if Sam agrees to one) will be better. 

Jason’s just chilling, watching Erika scroll on her phone, making her stop a few times to look at something. 

He feels now is the perfect time to make their escape. “Hey guys, we’re going to head out.”

“Huh?” Clark looks up at him, confused.

He points over to Sam. “We’re going to head out so can you let us out now?”

“Oh, okay.”

~

“I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing he says to Sam when they get in his car. “I should’ve told them to find a different booth.”

“It’s okay.” 

“No, really. That was a crappy first date.”

“Grizz, it’s okay, really.” And he sounds like he really means it.

“Okay,” Grizz deflates, “Are you ready to go home or?”

“No, I want to go back to your house if that’s okay.” That’s more than okay.

“You got it.”

~

When Grizz was little, he used to tap dance. Not many people know about it, because he quit before junior high and picked up football to appease his mom. And doing so, he became another jock in many eyes, especially his peers, which is what his mom was going for he guesses. And Grizz liked football; he was good at it so he stayed with it. For some reason though, that’s about the first thing people use if they were asked to describe him. And sometimes Grizz wishes it wasn’t, like there’s much more to him, you know? He was a tap dancer; still dabbles in it actually. He’s gay and though this isn’t like what he wants to be only known for, but it’s still a part of him. He’s more or less a bookworm and quote junky (Clark’s words). He likes gardening and the outdoors. He has an obsession with theology and survivalism. He’d like to be known more for these things. 

But he’s grateful for football. It also brought him good friends. He has to admit he held himself back from really getting attached to them though. Fear of the possibility of them not accepting his true self played a huge part in him trying not to get attached to them. When he came out to Luke, it was like a barrier went down between them, and Grizz is more himself around him now without that fear. Since that happened, it’s opened his eyes to other possibilities, like his other friends could accept all of Grizz too. He’s hoping for that anyway.

~  
They’re chillin out at Clark’s. It’s a pretty tame Sunday afternoon. They had the lights turned off and the curtains closed to further the ambience. Clark has got a new horror game and the others are sitting around to watch him play. Jason jumps at about every jump scare. 

Jason yells, “Dude! You’re going the wrong way! You’ve already been down this hall.” 

Clark snaps back, “Shut the fuck up! You’re distracting me!”

Grizz glances away from his phone to his friends. “He forgot the clue in there though.”

“How do you even know that? You’re not even watching it anymore. Too busy on your phone.” Jason’s eyebrows furrow as something occurs to him. “Who’re you texting anyway?” 

Luke raises his eyebrows at that, interested to see where this goes.

Grizz mumbles, “Nobody.” 

Clark pauses the game, also interested and wanting to put his two cents in. “Grizz, you’re talking to somebody. Did you really think we didn’t notice these past weeks?”

Luke waits a little more to see if Grizz is going to say anything. It takes him a moment but he finally says in the most casual tone that Luke knows is on purpose, “Okay, fine. I’m texting Sam right now.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, well why are you acting weird, man?”

Clark resumes his game and gets back to it. Luke rolls his eyes. His friends are so oblivious. 

Luke looks imploringly at Grizz, but his friend is already too busy looking at his phone again.

~

Grizz is walking in the downtown area when he spots it. It’s a little one story shop with a sign hanging on a window promoting half off on beginner’s first class. It’s not something Grizz has ever thought about trying before, but that doesn’t stop him from going in and checking it out. The instructor’s assistant is there and she explains more in detail what it is. Grizz signs up for two spots. The class is on a Wednesday afternoon. He didn’t already have anything planned to do something with Sam that day so hopefully he’s not busy. He didn’t even think of that till after he paid.

When he gets home, he sets his new book on the counter and goes about making a sandwich.

Later, he texts Sam: ** Hey, are you busy Wednesday after school?**

His reply:_ No, just plan on sitting in despair in my room._ Sarcastic little shit.

** Well, I’m doing something much funner.**

Then he taps out another: ** You should join me.**

_ Was that you trying to ask me out on another date?_

** Did it work?**

_Yes. What are we doing?_

** It’s a surprise.**

~

The next afternoon, he drives them to downtown where the building is. When they get out and he shows Sam the sign, he turns to him with a perturbed expression. “A pottery class?”

Grizz beams at him, “Yes, I’ve never done it before and I’m dragging you with me.”

He shrugs. “Okay.”

There are a few others there, including the instructor. She has everybody stationed behind a wheel. They are taught some basics on how to use it. She shows them how to make a simple bowl and afterwards everybody gets there clay to work with and copy it. Sam has a hard time keeping up with her so Grizz repeats it more slowly for him and with the few signs that he knows. Grizz’s bowl keeps crumbling inward. He sneaks glances over at Sam to see his is almost perfect. When they are done, they have to leave them there over night to bake. 

“I’ll pick ours up before school tomorrow.”

Afterwards, they walk downtown to the fudge factory where Grizz gets peanut butter fudge and gets Sam a M&M cookie. They sit inside to eat and share shy smiles over the desserts. 

Later on, he drives Sam home right after the street lights start to come on. Nobody seems to be home, but they stay in the car for a bit. 

“Did you have fun?” Grizz is only able to sign ‘have fun’ but Sam gets that it’s a question.

**Yes.** His back is leaning against the door so he faces him. He’s looks happy and content to be there with Grizz, just sitting in his car. And honestly? Grizz couldn’t be more happier to just sit in a car with Sam somewhere and talk than go on dates. But he wants Sam to have a good time. Show him he can be fun and think outside the box. Sam’s sitting quietly, just watching Grizz, waiting for something. 

Grizz takes a deep breath, wondering if it’s too soon to ask. “You know. . .” ** I really like you. **

Sam tilts his head and says sarcastically, “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

Grizz huffs a laugh. “Smartass,” He jokes. “And you like me too,” He says slowly, his hands shaking just a little. What if he says no? Like he’s pretty sure he won’t but you never know.

Sam grins and draws out a, “Yeah,” encouraging him to go on.

He takes a deep breath again, runs his fingers through his hair. “So are we,” He halts. No, that’s not right. “Do you,” He trails off. Why is this so hard to ask? It’s so frustrating trying to decide the best way to ask. He sighs. “I’m trying to ask you if you want to be my boyfriend.”

Sam leans forward. **That so?**

Grizz looks down at his lap, nodding. 

Sam’s fingers slide over the area above his knee when he reaches over. It firmly stays there, a warmth spreading underneath it. Grizz looks back up to find him much closer now, fully leaning on the consol. “Do you really have to ask? Of course.” 

Grizz full body shivers, goosebumps rising on his calves, arms, and scalp when Sam slides a hand around his neck and pulls him in to kiss him. It turns heated quickly and it never crosses his mind they’re still in his car where anyone can see them.

All in all, it’s a pretty good second official date. 

~

They invite Becca to come over to Grizz’s house Friday night. They make spaghetti together and eat outside on the porch. They tell her they’re together and she does the most unexcited shocked face with hands coming up to land on her cheeks Grizz has ever seen. “Really? I had no idea.”

They laugh about it and afterwards she sounds truly happy when she says, “Really though, I’m happy for you, Sam.” Grizz watches for Sam’s reaction to that and he gives her a small smile before looking back at Grizz. They share their first kiss in front of someone that night and Grizz doesn’t feel weird about it at all. The exact opposite actually. Like this is where he is meant to be.

~

“Last year, Becca and I skipped prom and stayed at her house and watched scary movies all night.”

Grizz hums at that, “Well, it was better than my experience.” 

They are lazing around in Grizz’s bed early Saturday morning, both just waking up. Sam had slept over last night. They were talking about school and prom came up. 

“What happened?”

“Nothing really. Nothing memorable.”

There’s a slight hesitation in his voice when he askes Grizz, “Are you going this year?”

“That depends.” Grizz wonders if he can feel his heartbeat from where his hand is resting on his chest. “Do you want to go with me?” This is the first either one of them has brought up coming out as a couple to the general public. 

Sam grins up at him and nods. He quietly says but sounds very happy, “Of course I want to.”

Grizz pulls him closer, with his arm around his shoulders. Sam meets him the rest of the way for a kiss that lasts too long for his lung’s liking.

~

It’s at a McDonalds of all places that Grizz decides now is the time to come out to the other half of The Guard. To Clark and Jason, they probably thought this was just another burger run before going suit shopping. To Luke, it’s just another day at the office, there to witness all his friend’s clownery. But to Grizz, it’s the day he’s finally decided enough was enough and needed to get this obstacle cleared. It’s about time he had this talk with them, especially after the so many looks Luke would give him after not taking the opportunity when one would rise. 

“There are fucking pickles in this. I didn’t ask for pickles,” Clark gripes as he picks off the pickles from his burger and flings them at Luke. “Luke, have my pickles.”

“Fuck off.”

Grizz clears his throat. Any moment now. He’s going to gather his friend’s attention and say it.

“Bro, pickles are like automatically added. You have to tell them you don’t want them.” Jason explains to him, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, we tell you this like every time, bro.” Luke gives him the ‘you’re a dumbass’ look Grizz and him have perfected for the usually sole use towards the other half of The Guard.

Clark rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”

Grizz’s foot, unbeknownst to him, is tapping fast under the table. He’s starting to loose his nerve and Luke is starting to notice. Doubt wins out this round. 

Again.

~

It’s later when the boys are shopping for suits for the dance that it finally fucking happens.

Jason pulls off the black vest to try on a green one. “I’m thinking this one. I don’t know if Erika will like though.” He observes himself in the mirror and shrugs. “Fuck it.”

Grizz drops his phone on the little table next to his chair. His conversation with Sam is halted, because he to do dishes. Grizz sits there a little bored. It didn’t take him long to pick out a light green dress shirt and some black suit pants. The owner of the shop is bewildered at his choice and tries to change his mind two times before huffing away and assisting one of the other boys. Grizz doesn’t really give a shit what he looks like. He’d wear sweatpants to prom if he could, but he’s got to at least try to follow the damn dress code. The best part about this is, Sam doesn’t give a shit either. He’s got a white suit with a pink vest that he already owns that he’s going to wear. And the selfie of him in it he texts Grizz quickly becomes his favorite in his gallery. He looks very handsome in it and he tells him so, resulting in blushing face emojis.

“Red’s more your color, bro,” Grizz comments. 

Clark is a little quiet, sitting in the chair next to him, just a little bit sulking. He must be still feeling upset over his recent break up and being reminded that he’ll be going to prom alone is probably not helping. 

“Luke, what do you think?” 

Luke spends five minutes between looking at him with the green one on and holding the red blazer up in front of him. “Green and black. Looks classy on you. Also, Grizz is fucking fashion blind. This blazer would look horrendous on you.”

Grizz guffaws at that. “Gee, thanks.” A pause for effect. “And I am not fashion blind. I have great style.”

“No, you kind of are, dude.” Clark cracks a smile for the first time since entering the store. “When you’re not wearing athletic wear, you dress in cargo shorts and flannel. You look like a lumberjack on summer va-ca.”

Luke and Jason join in on laughing at his expense.

“So we’re going to meet up in front of Matteo’s before right?” Luke asks.

“Yeah, just me and Sam might be a little late. We’re picking up Becca and she lives like on the other side of town.” It comes out of his mouth before he even thinks it over. Grizz sits there, shocked at himself.

Their reactions all happen at the same time.

“Becca?” This is Clark’s as he sits up in his seat, suddenly interested. 

‘You and Sam?” This one’s Jason’s as he turns away from eyeing himself in the mirror to Grizz. “You’re not riding with me anymore?”

“Holy shit, is it happening?” Luke excitedly says to himself, drops his suit hanger and turns to Grizz, gives encouraging little nods to him. Gosh damn, he’s eager for Grizz to finally get this over with.

When it’s quiet again, Jason asks, “Why are you picking up Sam and Becca?”

Grizz could answer this many different ways, an obvious logical one would be just saying because they’re his friends now and offered to. But he needs to tell the truth and he shouldn’t wait till the last second. 

“Because I’m going to prom with him and Becca just needs a ride.” It’s a simple answer but damn hard to get out. Grizz had looked away and to the ground at some point. The pressure of tears under his eyes build (something that he always does when he’s suddenly overwhelmed). He wonders if he’ll always be like that.

It’s quiet for a few seconds and Grizz looks up to find Luke glancing back and forth from Jason and Clark, stance ready like he’s going to step in. Jason hesitantly asks, “Like together?”

Jason and Clark share a confused look with each other. “Like. . . “

Grizz breathes in a shuddery breath. “Like as a date. As my boyfriend.”

Grizz starts to fidget in his seat as they gawk at him. Luke is the first to step forward to him and places a hand on his shoulder. “That’s great, man. Right, guys?”

Jason pulls out of his daze and begins stripping off the green vest. “Yeah. . . I didn’t know you liked guys. When that happen?”

“Uh,” Grizz trails off, his mind going oddly blank. 

Clark asks, curiously, “So you’re bi?” 

Grizz can work with that. “No, gay.”

Clark points a finger at him. “But you’ve gone out with girls.”

Grizz blinks as he thinks over what to say. His heart rate is returning to a normal pace now. Their initial reactions are not negative and that’s the least he could have asked for. He can work with curiousness.

“Um, I didn’t really like any of them in _that_ sense. You know, romantically.”

Clark asks, “Then why would you date them?”

At the same time, Jason asks, “Are you sure? Cause you seemed really into Carla last year.”

Grizz takes it back. Why can’t they just be like Luke and just accept it?

“Well, I mainly just did it to fit in, I guess. That and I guess I kind of felt people would scrutinize me if I turned down every girl that tried to flirt with me. And I didn’t want people to make any assumptions until I was ready.” Luke squeezes his shoulder and Grizz looks up at him. He gives him an encouraging smile. “And Carla was only just a friend.”

Clark looks thoughtful as he relaxes back into his chair. Jason changes back into his basketball shorts. While doing so, he asks, “So you and Sam, huh? How long’s that been a thing? And why is this our first time hearing about it?”

“Uh, a little over a week now. Uh, you remember joining us at Matteo’s? That was our first date.”

Clark snorts. “You went out for pizza for your first date?”

“Yeah, that’s lame. Mine and Erika’s first date was to Sammy’s. Way classier.”

Great, now they’re teasing him. This was not a scenario he thought could happen.

He scrambles to defend himself, “There’s nothing wrong with pizza! We like pizza!” 

Jason busts out laughing. “You’re a disaster, Grizz. Pizza is not first-date friendly food. All girls will tell you this!” But then a thought overtakes him as he mumbles off to the side, “But then again you’re both dudes so maybe the rules are different.”

Grizz gripes, “You guys are being fucking idiots. There’s no rules to dating.” 

The room grows quiet then and they all look around at each other. He doesn’t know who started it but they all end up laughing uncontrollably. Grizz stands up with his bag that contains his shirt, “Let’s get out of here.”

Luke agrees, “Yeah, you done, Jason? Going with green and black?”

“Yeah.”

Luke turns to Grizz and shouts in his face, “Hah!”

Grizz gives him a face wash with his hand for that.

As they head out to Jason’s car, Clark sidles up to him. He’s seemingly innocent when he quietly asks Grizz, “So Becca is going to prom?”

He raises his eyebrows at that. Why is his friend so interested about that? Could he perhaps . . .

Grizz opens the back door to the car and slides in. Clark follows him. “Yeah, she’s riding with us.”

It seems like he has more he wants to ask. He’s biting his lip and looking away out the window then at his lap. “Does she,” He trails off, hesitant. But Grizz knows now for certain what it is. 

“As far as I know, she doesn’t have a date.” 

Clark is, for the first time since the break up, getting interested about another girl. Well, scratch that. Grizz has noticed he’s been stealing little glances at Becca since the camping trip. So he was mostly likely was already interested in her. Maybe he thought she was cute or something.

But he was dating Gwen. He probably wasn’t really going to give those little glances of interest any thought. And then, Gwen breaks up with him. A girl he’s liked for two years decides to just abruptly end it. And yeah, it fucking hurt Clark at first. But Grizz thinks he’s starting to get over the initial hurt of it. Like he’s almost to the point of acceptance and moving on.

His eyes aren’t clouded over anymore lately and there is a hint of a smile present as they drive back to his house. Grizz can’t help but feel giddy at the possibility that Clark may be crushing on Becca. Because Becca is a great person and maybe their personalities and lifestyles are different. But hey, you know what they say.

Opposites attract. 

~

In the last full week of April, he is plummeted with extra curricular projects. In his Agriculture class, they’re assigned to find someone that works in the line of Agriculture to interview. In his workshop class, they’re assigned two weeks to build their final project. He spends all his study hall classes and lunches, in the library finding somebody through the internet to interview and organizing that or in the shop working on that project. He’s trying to get as much done as he can before next week which is when prom is. Sam visits him in the shop one lunch period. A couple other students have the same idea, so they keep the pda to a minimum. During a brief drinking break, Grizz only reaches out for his hand once. It doesn’t really matter though. No one pays them any attention. Sam mainly just sits beside him, keeping him company as he sands down the bases for the bookends he’s making. He’s decided his is going to be a two-part project. He’ll make the bookends first and then a little desk organizer that’s still in the planning stages.

Since he’s sanding, they have to wear masks. It makes talking to Sam harder, but he gets by using the signs he knows. They mostly sit in comfortable silence though. 

Well, it’s not that silent, another student is using a Dremel tool, but you get what he means.

Later, Grizz and Sam are walking out of the shop room, when he asks, “So, what’s the top piece of the bookends?”

Grizz hums, “I want it to be a bear but I’m shit at drawing and using Dremel tools. I’ll probably have to do a few practice ones before I get it right or at least presentable.”

Sam bumps into him, his mouth turning into a sly grin which is his tale-tale sign Grizz is about to get roasted, “Should of known it’d have something to do with your precious book shelf. Why bears?”

He cracks a grin. “Cause of the nickname. Got to stay on brand.” They stop near the door to Sam’s next class. Grizz thinks if he were walking one of his past girlfriends to class, they’d probably kiss goodbye right now. So why doesn’t he with Sam? And he would so do it. He really wants to, but he’s not sure what Sam’s boundaries of pda are. He reminds himself to ask him about it later. He could do it right now, but he doesn’t want to put Sam on the spot.

Sam’s hand, the one closest to the wall, the one others in the hall can’t really see, reaches up and his fingers graze over the skin right above his elbow. It elicits a shiver running up his arm that has Grizz wanting to lean in closer to him. “Come over tonight. Campbell won’t be there. He’s sleeping over at Harry’s. Becca’s bringing over obscure indie movies. Should be a blast. What do you say?”

“You sure? Becca won’t mind?”

“No, she likes hanging out with you, if you haven’t noticed.”

“If you’re sure.”

Sam steps up to him on his toes and for a hot second, Grizz thinks he’s actually going to kiss him right there in the hall. But he backs up again, grinning, and he realizes he only did that to tease him. “I’m sure.” The bell rings then and Sam turns around to head into his class before Grizz can even pick his jaw back up.

~

Before he leaves for Sam’s house, he takes a quick shower and pulls on sweatpants and a hoodie. He’s going for comfort over everything else because the past three days have been hectic at school and he needs a break. Movies with Sam and Becca sound like the perfect relaxation. He’s not planning on sleeping over, but he texts his mom that’s where he’ll be if he happens to. When he gets there, Campbell’s car is gone, thank God. He hasn’t really had another confrontation with the guy since that one detention and the look he sent his way in the hall. Grizz wonders if he’s just found something else to distract him or simply forgotten about it. Sam’s mom lets him in. He’s only really met her once. When he was picking up Sam on their second date and she came out to get their mail. He was standing on the porch so he introduced himself as Sam’s friend then. He doesn’t know if she now knows that he’s more than just a friend, so he just plays it cool. He’ll have to ask Sam about it later. For now, he trails up to Sam’s room where the other two are waiting. Becca is sitting in the recliner chair he has in there, playing her phone. Grizz joins Sam on his bed where he’s leaning against pillows stacked up behind him.

“Hey,” Grizz taps his knee. 

Becca startles in her seat. “Jesus, I didn’t hear you come in.”

Grizz chuckles and leans down to give Sam a quick kiss in hello. Sam happily returns it, bringing a hand up to caress his face, not letting him go just yet, keeping him there longer which always surprises Grizz. How confident and tenacious he is in kissing. It’s something he did not expect from him when they started this, but it’s certainly not unwelcomed. In fact, it’s actually a turn on so Grizz pulls away before he can succumb to his desire to just fully make out with him, remembering Becca is there.

Sam seems to have read his mind and after smiling cheekily up at him and pulling him down for one more kiss, he turns to Becca. “Becca,” he calls to her. 

“Hmm?” She looks up from her phone again. 

Sam signs to her and the only words he can make out are you, close, and TV.

“Lazy,” She mutters and also signs it. She gets up to put in a disk in the DVD player. 

This is the first time he’s ever been in Sam’s room. He looks around and spots the comics Sam told him about. There’s also little trinkets everywhere, like a rubix cube on the bedside table and crossword puzzle books stacked on top of the headboard that also serves as a shelf. The most exciting thing is a pair of ice skates lying in a corner. 

Grizz taps him on the knee. “You go ice skating?” He points at the skates.

“Oh, I used to. It’s been a while since I’ve gone.”

“We should go sometime. I’ve always wanted to try it.”

“Maybe, the closest rink is an hour away.”

Grizz shrugs. “That’s no problem. We can take my car.”

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, babe.” Sam looks pleased to hear that. (Grizz makes a note to use pet names more often.)

“Okay. Becca’s better at it than me though.”

He turns to Becca, who is back on her phone again. The movie’s menu is on the TV screen. “Becca, you want to go ice skating with me and Sam?”

The words ice skating seems to finally snap her out of her phone’s spell. “Um, hell yes.”

“Great!” Grizz exclaims, giddy. “Let’s do it next weekend.”

Becca starts the movie and joins them on the bed. Sam is sandwiched between them; his bed is only a full sized, but they make it work. Becca cuddles up to him, Sam’s arm around her shoulders and Sam has his other arm wrapped around Grizz’s arm and their fingers are twined. Grizz was not expecting to be an avid hand holder when this started but it’s like one of his favorite intimate things to do with Sam. A month and half ago, if someone told Grizz he’d have a boyfriend while still in high school and that guy was Sam and his biggest worry at the moment was getting his school work done, he’d have laughed in their face. Not even the prospect of him coming out to the public at the prom is a top five contender in the list of his worries. Neither is he thinking about when he’ll come out to his mom. 

Right now, he’s going to enjoy laying there with Sam and his friend and watch oddly insightful indie films.

Becca’s mom picks her up later and then there is just the two of them. It’s late enough, his parents have already gone to bed but they stay up and eat cereal in the kitchen until Sam starts to yawn. They head back up to his room and talk lazily for another hour before they both fall asleep.

~   
Beginning of May

On the night of prom, Grizz is a ball of jitters. Mainly because it’s finally happening. Like after tonight, there’s no going back. He knows he’ll be okay. They have Becca and The Guard there for support to fall back on. He knows without a doubt Luke will be by his side. But he’d be lying if he said there wasn’t a sliver of doubt lying in him about the whole thing in general. Maybe this is what it’s supposed to feel like. World-ending. Life-changing. Because in a way, it is. He’s about to do something that will change his life forever. No more hiding. Mo more dating girls for the sake of fitting in. He’s done with trying to fit in. He sees now life is so much better when he doesn’t try to and he has Sam now because of it.

Grizz rings the door bell and waits. His dad lets him in.

“Hello, you must Grizz? Right? That’s your name, right? Nice to finally meet you.” He sticks out a hand for Grizz to shake, which he does after discreetly wiping it on his suit pants. What can he say? He’s a boy picking up his date for a dance and properly meeting said date’s dad for the first time. It’s like a right of passage every guy experiences, even if your date is another guy. It’s still _their_ son. 

“Sam’s upstairs.” 

“Okay, I’m going to go tell him I’m here if that’s okay.”

He curtly nods. Grizz turns to make his way to the stairs, thinking he’s in the clear.

“Oh, son, one more thing.” Grizz turns back to him, holds his breath. “Loosen up. You look like a scared kitten.” He chuckles and Grizz almost joins but then he suddenly stops and say so casually Grizz doesn’t even register it as a tiny threat at first, “Also be good to my son or else, okay?”

“Doug, leave the kid alone.” Grizz’s mom walks in behind him from the kitchen. “You can go up, honey.” She smiles warmly at Grizz, who is having a hard time getting his legs to move. So apparently threatening dads is not just a ‘dating a girl’ thing. So Grizz endures the narrowed beady eyes that follow him up the stairs. 

He shuts Sam’s door behind him and leans against it, finally able to breathe right. His heart beat is still a little erratic though. 

Sam, who was trying to do his tie, notices him. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He stops messing with his tie, letting it hang around his neck as he walks up to Grizz. He lifts his eyebrows at him. “Let me guess, my dad?” He slides a hand around Grizz’s waist for a brief hug that never really ends. 

“I think he threatened me. Just a little bit.”

Sam grins at that like he finds it funny.

“It’s not funny. I’m kind of scared to go back down there now.”

“Didn’t know you were such a chicken.” He finally kisses him but it’s on his cheek and not exactly what Grizz wants. “You look great, by the way. Very handsome.”

Grizz still blushes at hearing Sam say such things to him. It effects him a lot. “You too. Still wish I could wear sweat pants instead though. But life will go on,” He jokes, but he’s too busy staring down at Sam’s suit. “Actually, you look very cute. You should wear pink more often.”

Sam is smiling his favorite smile now. “Think you can help me with this?” He points up at his tie. 

“Can do, but there’s a price.” He signs it also, recently learning the sign for price.

“And what’s that?” 

Grizz slowly leans down. “A kiss would suffice.”

Sam rolls his eyes at that, but amuses him and complies.

Yeah, Grizz decides tonight will be great no matter what.

** Your brother going?**

Sam shakes his head and bends down to put on his shoes. “He’s not big on dances.”

Sam straightens back up and they make their way down the stairs. Sam grabs his hand as they step onto the first floor. His parents are still there. His mom is holding up her phone. 

She signs to Sam and Grizz is proud of himself that he understands the gist of it. **Just one picture. I’ll be quick.**

Sam groans and looks up to Grizz. He nods, “Fine with me.”

So his mom takes their picture in front of the door with his dad standing behind her with his arms crossed and frowning directly at Grizz. Grizz just tries to get through the next thirty seconds it takes Sam to say goodbye without making a fool of himself.

He makes it out unscathed with Sam in tow, his dad’s vague threat running through his head occasionally as they drive over to Becca’s. Sam wanted to just text her that they were there, but Grizz thinks that’s not classy and he pouts at him till he gives in and they walk up the drive together. He knocks on the door and Becca opens it a few seconds later, smiling at them. “Hey, you guys looks cute. Hold on, I just got to grab my camera.” She darts back in and comes back out with it. “Let’s go.” Her dress is purple and pretty.

Grizz tells her so, “You look very pretty, Becca.” 

“Aw, thanks, Grizz.” The boys start to head back to car, but Becca stops them. “Wait! I want a picture with this lighting before we go.”

So they take their picture and climb into his car and head for Matteo’s to meet up with the rest of The Guard.

“We’re not eating there; they just want to meet up there in the parking lot. Something about a celebration before the prom. It’s going to involve weed. Are y’all okay with that?”

**Fine with me.**

“Becca?” Grizz turns back to look at her. “We can go straight to prom, if you want.”

Becca lips twist in thought before answering, “Nah, we can go there first.”

“Cool.” 

“Hey, Grizz?” 

“Yeah?”

“Why do have so many sweat pants back here?”

Grizz shrugs, “Never know when you’re going to need a change of pants.”

Sam laughs because he understands the hidden meaning while Becca eyes the clothing with distaste.

“You guys are fucking gross.”

What can Grizz say, things with Sam can get out of hand and out of his control real fast and after their second and third dates, Grizz learned to keep spare pants in the car just in case. 

When they arrive to the parking lot of Matteo’s, his three buddies, Helena, and Erika who all carpooled together are there. The guys are sitting on the hood of Jason’s car while the girls are still in the back seat, talking amongst themselves.

After he parks the car, Grizz turns to Sam and taps on his shoulder. “Have y’all ever got high before? It’s okay if you haven’t and don’t want to. They guys aren’t going to give a shit.” 

“No, we haven’t,” Sam pauses for a second. “Is it fun? Getting high?”

Grizz shrugs. “Can be.” 

Becca and him look at each other, having a conversation with their eyes. Becca is the first to speak. “I think I’ll sit this one out. You guys go ahead.”

“Alright.” Grizz opens his console up and pulls out a bag with already rolled up joints he prepared earlier. There’s only like six total in there but Becca reacts like it’s a dealer’s bag worth of a harder substance. “Whoa, I didn’t take you for a pothead, Grizz.” She signs everything she says so Sam doesn’t miss it.

Grizz tries to do that too, but he misses some. It’s a learning process. “I’m really not. I only do this socially. Like when I’m hanging with the guys.” He gestures to his friends. “Not a big fan of doing it alone, actually. Makes me paranoid.” He chuckles, hoping it will lighten the mood.

He looks to Sam, who is still staring at the bag with indifference. He hopes this isn’t making him uncomfortable. He also hopes he doesn’t judge Grizz for this. They haven’t really talked about this particular past time of Grizz’s yet. It’s jut never come up till now.

He places a hand on his arm. “You sure?”

He curtly nods and undoes his seatbelt. He seems firm in his decision, so Grizz respects that, and they all get out. 

“Grizz, buddy, you move like a fucking grandpa!” Jason has jumped off his car to come up to Grizz and slings an arm around him. Clark, he has a few seconds to notice, sits quietly on the hood, and watches as Becca gets out. Jason grabs the bag from him and hands a joint to the girls in his back seat. Then he takes one out for himself and lights the end up, inhaling till it catches. He takes another slower drag before passing it to Luke. 

“So is this a regular occurrence? Smoking weed in a parking lot?” Becca doesn’t direct the question to anyone in particular, but it is Clark who answers her. “No, we mostly do it at my house.” He lights one up for himself, takes a few drags and offers it to Becca.

“No, thanks. I’m good.” 

Clark shrugs. “M’kay.”

Sam joins him as he leans against his car doors. Jason joins his other side and sling an arm around him. “Sam, my man, you take good care of Grizz tonight, okay? He is our very best friend and we’d do anything for him, capeesh?” 

Grizz rolls his eyes. “Oh my God, Jason, shut the fuck up.”

Sam is confused and turns to him. “Was that a threat? Did I read that right?”

**Ignore him.** “He’s just joking.” Grizz reaches over and whacks his friend in the chest, who wheezes out a breath. Grizz grabs his bag back and Jason’s lighter and offers it to Sam who takes it. 

“You can’t laugh at me if I do it wrong.”

Grizz bites his lip to stop from laughing, “You’ll be fine. Just inhale when I light it.”

“I might though.” Jason mumbles jokingly. Grizz shoots daggers at him. 

Sam breathes it in and for a moment there, Grizz doesn’t think he’ll cough but he does. Grizz takes it back as he pats Sam’s back. He breaks a little, giggles when a disgusted look crosses his face.

“That tastes disgusting.”

“Here, do it again. Not so bad the second time.” 

Grizz can’t explain what he’s currently feeling at seeing Sam getting high with them. He’d never, in all his high school years, thought this could happen. All he can say is he hopes for more days like this. 

Jason clears his throat, calling for their attention before he begins, “Guys, I hereby, declare Sam and Becca a part of The Guard. All in favor, say I.”

Grizz snorts. The other three male members say together, “I.”

Becca laughs. “What does that even mean? To be a part of The Guard?”

Jason answers after taking another hit, “It’s a fucking state of mind. And you guys got it.” 

Grizz doesn’t hit it too many times. He is driving after all. Even though the community center is like two minutes away from Matteo’s, a lot can happen in two minutes. So he stops after the first one and gives the rest to his friends. Clark has forgotten his in favor of talking to Becca, who has been slowly warming up to The Guard these past two weeks since Sam and her started sitting with them at lunch. 

“Can I take your picture?” She asks him.

Clark tosses the bud on the ground and poses with his hands in a grand gesture. 

Jason sits up. “Oh, let’s do a group picture! Girls, get out here!” He grabs Grizz’s arm and drags him over to his hood. The girls come out, giggling and clumsy and stand by their boyfriend’s sides. Grizz stumbles as he situates himself beside Luke. He pulls Sam over to him and says, “Becca, you too. Get over here!”

Grizz can tell she is surprised. Maybe it’s because she wasn’t expecting to be included. Maybe she didn’t want to be included, judging by the way she groans after, but she slinks up to them anyway, genuinely smiling.

She’ll just have to get used it. She is part of The Guard now.

They goof off in the parking lot, smoke the rest of the joints Grizz brought and then take off to prom. It’s almost 8:30 by the time they arrive. Prom is held in a giant convention room in the main building of the community center. Way classier than a gym-setting dance. There isn’t really a theme, just styled in white, blue, and silver. Grizz likes it. It’s not over the top and the music is chill. Thank God, there isn’t a live band, because he doesn’t actually like those. Jay-Z is playing when they walk in. The first people they see are Kelly and Elle, who were in charge of the prom committee. Grizz was supposed to help, but it slipped his mind after recently getting a boyfriend and spending most of his free time with him. They’re handing out little pins of their class year out. Grizz pins his to his shirt collar and waits for Sam. Becca has opted to ditch them to hang around with Kelly for a bit. Sam smiles up at him when he’s done pinning his to his pants pocket. 

“Ready?”

Grizz’s words fail him, suddenly anxious but definitely excited. He nods his head once and offers his hand. Sam takes it without a doubt and they enter the main room.

~

The reaction is very anti-climactic and Grizz couldn’t ask for anything better. This is exactly what he wanted. There are a few surprised faces when they realize Sam and him are together-together but it’s mostly pleasant and from people Grizz and him are friends with and didn’t know yet. 

“So, like are you two dating?” Allie has come up to him while he is getting drinks for him and Sam, who is sitting down at a table.

Grizz tells her, “Yep.”

“That’s cool. You guys look cute together.”

“Thank you.” Grizz looks over at her. “You look cute too.”

Allie beams. “Thanks, Grizz. You think Will will like it?” She asks, twirling just a little. She sounds hopeful and Grizz wants her to be happy. 

“I don’t see how he couldn’t. You’re the prettiest girl here.”

“Aww, now I know you’re lying,” Allie jokes as she gently whacks him on the arm, making the drink in that hand almost slosh out of the cup. “Oops, sorry.”

~

Grizz manages to wrangle Sam into dancing with him for a slow song ten minutes later. It’s a song Grizz likes and knows every word to. He’s sung it in his room many times. He grew up listening to it.

“What song is it?” He asks.

“It’s called Turn Me On and it’s Norah Jones’ cover of it.”

“What’s it about?”

“Being in love, I think. And waiting around for that person. Very pretty lyrics.” Grizz slides his left hand more around him, pulling him in closer.

“What kind of instruments does it have?”

“Piano mostly, I think.”

Sam nods at this and they continue slow dancing. Grizz forgets himself and mumbles along with the song on the chorus. Sam’s starring at him with an indescribable expression.

Grizz huffs it off, a little embarrassed at being caught. “What?”

“Nothing. Just,” He sighs and his hand slides up from his shoulder to hook around his neck. “I wish I could hear your voice.” 

The unfiltered rawness truth of it punches Grizz in the gut. It takes his breath and he stops swaying. It has his face heating up and Sam surely notices that. His tongue pokes out a little and swipes between his lips. Grizz is mesmerized by it, his own copying the move. He slowly smiles up at him before leaning forward on his toes and pulls Grizz down to give him a slow kiss. 

It’s by far the most exhilarating one, being surrounded by their peers and not having a care about it.

~

It’s a fun night all around. Sam sits out on most fast paced songs. He convinces Becca to dance with him for one song. He does the silly dance him and The Guard have came up with. And somehow Sam convinces him to finally show him some of his tap dancing skills. Prom King and Queen are announced half way through and to nobody’s surprise it’s Harry and Cassandra. Their school has a tradition where they have to be the first to dance together right after the crowning and everyone is mildly cringing as they watch them awkwardly stiltedly dance to Adele’s Hello. He biting his lip so hard to keep from laughing out loud. 

So yeah, it’s one of the best dances Grizz has been to. The night gets even better when it’s time to leave. Grizz’s spirits is at an all time high. He’s officially out now, there wasn’t any debacle over it, he got to dance with Sam, and all his friends are still with him. 

When they get to his car, the first thing he does is open the back door and grab a pair of sweat pants that have silly designs on them to change into. He groans out in relief at undoing his pants and takes them off right there in the parking lot. There’s not many students around, most are still inside. But even if they were, he doesn’t think he’d care. He’s just ready to get out of these damn pants. Besides he’s got underwear on. It’s not like he’s totally nude. 

“What are you doing?” Sam looks at him like he’s crazy, but he can tell he finds it amusing. 

“Getting out of these damn pants!” Grizz slides on the sweat pants and sighs again at the comforting feel of expandable cotton. He also hates how his thighs look in dress pants so that’s another reason to get out of them as soon as he can.

Clark came out with them, opting to hitch a ride with Grizz instead since he lives closer to him. He pulls up beside Sam and says to him, “Yeah, Grizz is allergic to nice clothing. You’ll get used to it.” Becca is in front of them, translating his words. 

Grizz retorts, “Am not.”

“You are. You dress like a five year old trying to dress themselves half the time.”

Sam laughs at that after Becca finishes translating it.

Grizz frowns at him. “You’re supposed to defend me, you know. That’s your job now as my boyfriend.”

Sam steps up to him and leans in to kiss his cheek. “You’re right. Sorry,” He turns to Clark while leaning on him, “Clark, Grizz does not dress like a five year old.” 

Grizz quickly says, “Thank you.”

Sam continues though, “Most times.”

Grizz gapes at him and Clark laughs.

~

School the next week is actually pretty chill. Like homework-wise. Grizz is convinced the teachers sabotaged them to have the hardest week right before prom. Maybe because they know that afterwards, the seniors just don’t give a shit for that last month. They stop caring about their grades, because most that are going to college are already accepted somewhere and one month of slacking off on participation grades (which is basically the only kind of grade there is the last month) isn’t going to hurt them that much. More and more seniors start skipping more in May. There’s only 14 days left. A few students who have perfect attendance stop coming period, opting to use all their excused absences now. Grizz has to come, at least for another week and half. He may rarely have gotten sick, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t use his excused absences throughout the year. Mainly, just for days he was feeling lazy and didn’t want to get out of bed. Anyway, his classes that are just seniors are basically them just chilling and hanging out in the classroom while the teacher sits at their desks and plays on their phones. 

At lunch time, The Guard usually go to McDonalds, but sometimes they’ll sit in the cafeteria and hang out with Sam, Becca, and their little group. 

“We should give you guys a name! Like how we have The Guard.” Jason gestures to the other members of The Guard. “What would be a good name though? Any suggestions?”

“Nothing offensive,” Bean says.

Clark and Luke considers this, their fingers tap on their chins. “How about,” Clark speaks up, “The Dorky but Cool Ones?”

Becca gives him a look like he’s got to be joking. “The Dorky But Cool Ones, really?”

“Okay, Nerdy. Not Dorky. The Nerdy and Cools Ones.” 

“Nah,” Jason interrupts him. “That’s lame. How about . . .”

They spend the next ten minutes trying to come up with a name, but none stick. The Guard gives up for now. 

Cassandra suggests, “So what are you guys doing next weekend? Someone should host a party. You know, just for seniors.”

Allie turns to her. “A last party as high schoolers?”

“Who’d play host?” Will asks.

“Grizz,” Comes from Clark. “You haven’t hosted a single party yet you’re always the fucking life of one.”

“Can’t, not this weekend anyway. Sam, Becca, and I got plans.”

“Like what?” Will asks.

“We’re going ice skating and spending the day in West Hartford.”

This is very intriguing to the majority of the group. Allie is the first to chime in, “Ooh, let’s do that instead.”

So it’s decided then. That almost everyone is tagging along to go with them this weekend. That’s fine with Grizz. The more friends, the merrier. They work out the carpooling and excuses they’ll give their parents. Clark and Kelly are going to ride with Grizz, Becca, and Sam. While Allie, Cassandra, and Will ride with Gordie. Bean unfortunately will be stuck here, because her grandparents are coming into town. The rest of The Guard will take Jason’s car.

“So much better than a lame ass party,” Allie says.

“You sure? I’ve had quite a few memories that I will remember forever that happened at parties,” Clark says.

Jason cuts in, “Your first blowjob doesn’t count.”

Clark guffaws at that and looks actually a little embarrassed Jason would bring that up. Becca also looks a little embarrassed for him. What the fuck’s going on there, Grizz doesn’t know. 

~

On the morning of that Saturday, Grizz gets up early to start his day, showers, puts on blue jeans, a little conscious of how he dresses now, and tries to blow dry his hair before heading out without saying goodbye to his mom. He’ll text her later when she wakes up. He goes through the drive-thru at Sonic and gets grilled cheeses for them. He texts Sam after he parks in front of his house. Ever since prom, he’s been scared to enter the house when he knows his dad is home. His car is still parked in the driveway this morning so he stays put in his car.

“You know, you can’t avoid my dad forever.” It the first thing Sam says to him. Grizz would very much like to ignore that for now and leans over to kiss him. 

When he pulls back, he signs to him. **I can try.**

Sam snorts at that. Grizz drops the Sonic bag in lap and he perks up, pulls out a sandwich and leans over the console and plants a kiss on Grizz’s cheek. “Thanks, babe.” 

~

They take turns with aux cord. Clark plays horrible overplayed pop music. Grizz retaliates by playing his 90’s punk music. It’s mostly fun on the drive there. He catches Becca snapping a picture of his and Sam’s connected hands over the consol. She also takes Kelly and Clark’s picture. And Clark ropes her into taking a picture with him. She leans on his chest a little to do so and Grizz knows his friend. Knows that the picture taking is probably just a ploy for him to get closer to Becca. Grizz may have been a little unsubtle about his crush, but Clark is worse. 

But Becca doesn’t seem to mind when he flirts with her on the way there. In fact, he could say she’s flirting back. 

~

Ice skating turns out to be a blast. He rents skates from the place and Sam helps him tie them up. He also holds his hands and helps him skate around the rink. It’s a very date-like atmosphere with the added bonus of their friends all around the place. He only falls on his ass twice the whole time. There’s only minimal laughter from Sam, mostly concerned looks from him. “You okay?”

He fell awkwardly on his arm, his wrist stings just a little. “Yeah, my wrist just hurts a little.” Sam pulls him to entrance and they sit on the benches while he examines his wrist. It’s not swollen and he can move it so it’s not broken. **It’s okay. I’ll be fine.**

Sam takes his wrists gently in his hands and looks at it. “You sure?”

Grizz nods. Sam surprises him by leaning down to place a kiss on top of his hand. “There. I have the magic touch. Any pain shall soon pass.” 

Grizz laughs, “You’re such a dork.”

“Am not.”

“It’s okay. I love it.”

Sam’s eye widen and Grizz mentally rewinds, realizing his words. But Sam doesn’t seem to have a bad reaction to it. In fact, a very good one, because he grabs Grizz’s shirt to pull him down to plant a chaste kiss on him. His lips are warm and when they touch his. . . Well, he didn’t realize how cold he was. There’s enough passion behind it from Sam, that is has the power to heat his whole face. Grizz, shell shocked from being handled like that, sits there trying to calm down, reminds himself he’s in public and it would not be wise to start making out with Sam there. “Come on, babe. Let’s skate.” Sam is standing up now, a hand held out for him to take which he instantly does. He’ll do anything if it means Sam will call him babe more. They get back on the ice and skate with their friends. Luke, who was close by and had seen the whole thing, skates up beside him and whispers excitedly at him, “Dude, that was the cutest shit I’d ever seen.”

~

Later on, they all go to the mall since it has shops they don’t have back home, and Grizz needs to find a new comforter for his dorm and a few other things. Everyone splits up after eating together in the food court. Sam joins him on his quest for dorm supplies. 

“You really don’t have to come with me. I’ll be mostly boring , looking at covers and lamps and shit.” 

Sam takes his hand. “Nothing with you is boring.” He sounds so sure of himself, like it’s fact.

Grizz just melts under his heavy gaze. “Um, okay,” He breathes out. Sam just grins at him in return.

They make their way to the Target first. Sam lets go of his hand to wrap his arm around his instead and that somehow feels more intimate, much more closer, and Grizz relishes in it. 

~

It’s dark by the time they head back home. Everyone falls asleep, leaving Grizz to his thoughts. Even Sam is passed out against the window. He looks cute when he’s asleep and even though Grizz would like his company during the drive, he leaves him be, happy to just take glances his way every now and then.

He forgot to text his mom the whole day. He knows he needs to have a talk with her. Especially before he leaves for college. He’d like to talk about their own personal problems but it’s probably never going to happen. Grizz has accepted his mom just doesn’t really care to ask how he’s doing. He will need to come out to her soon though. She should know. She should know that Sam is his boyfriend. He’s so tired by the time he drops off Sam, he ends up sneaking up to his room and sleeping over. His mom never texts him to find out where he’s at. The next morning (after somehow slipping out the front door without Sam’s dad seeing him even though he’s right there in the living room, he goes home to find his mom getting ready for work. 

“Oh, there you are. Will you take out the trash, please?”

He sighs. “Sure thing, mom.”

She leaves without saying goodbye or an I love you. 

Grizz decides to go back to bed for a little bit. 

~

After Grizz hands in his final draft of his interview with a local ranch owner and his woodshop project, he starts skipping school. Usually with The Guard and they’ll hang out at Clark’s and get high, but sometimes with Sam and well. . . Hanging out with Sam entails too many things. Sometimes innocent things like double dates with Luke and Helena and some not so innocent that take place at Grizz’s house, because he will not have sex with Sam in Sam’s house, knowing that his dad could very well enter the house at any time with an axe with Grizz’s name on it. Sam thinks he’s making it all up when he tells him about the genuine glares his dad gives him. Tells him he’s just messing around with Grizz.

He’s pretty sure he’s just acting like that because he’s protective over Sam. He doesn’t blame him, Grizz is too. But he’d be lying if said he didn’t almost shit his pants the last time he went over there and he caught them making out on the couch.

A thought occurs to him one afternoon when he’s planting carrots seeds. Maybe Sam’s dad actually doesn’t like him personally for whatever reason. 

But that seems absurd to him. Everyone always tell him everyone likes him, but what if he found the one person in this town that doesn’t? That would be his luck, right? He gets the guy of dreams but comes with a side order of a hard-ass dad. And Grizz knows it’s only directed toward him, because he’s been over there with Becca and he treats her like a daughter. 

He starts to wonder, imagining years later when Grizz and Sam come home to visit and Doug still peppers in snippy comments at him. 

But he snaps out of that. It’s too soon to start thinking that far down in the future.

But the seed has been planted and it’s start to grow over time and Grizz becomes more susceptible to thinking about his future with Sam.

~

On the night before graduation, many things happen. Grizz makes space on a shelf for his bookends that he got back that day. He levels up on his ASL apps. (Which he’s been getting better at.) He picks out his outfit for tomorrow, blue jeans (He will not be roped into wearing dress pants when there’s not a rule that says he has to.) and his favorite flannel. He figures he wore it so much during high school, it’s only fitting that he graduates in it too. 

But the one thing that has Grizz lying awake in bed well after midnight is the talk he finally had with his mom. 

~

Grizz has just got home from Matteo’s where he had to grab his uniforms. His mom is in the kitchen cooking dinner. She glances at him before going back to dicing up an onion. Grizz thinks this could be the perfect moment. If he starts crying, which he is prone to do when having conversation he is scared to have, he can just blame it the foul smelling vegetable. 

(This isn’t his actual reasoning. Grizz just likes to amuse himself.) When he left Sam’s house earlier that day, he was determined to come home and find his mom and finally talk shit out. 

So that’s what he does. 

“Mom, I need to talk to you.” His words come out shaky, like underlying nerves still there, pulling on his vocal chords.

His mom scrapes the diced onions into a small bowl and turns to the fridge. “Okay, hon, what is it?”

She’s not even looking at him. Too busy pulling out a package of hamburger meat. “Mom, I need to tell you something.”

She finally acknowledges him. “You said that. What is it?”

“I’m,” Grizz starts but his mind goes blank. What should he say? He really wanted to come out to her right now, but now the urge to finally confront her about her attitude is more predominant. A memory pops in his head then. There is something he’s always wanted to ask her but couldn’t.

“After dad left,” The mention of dad has her looking away, grimacing. “You sent me to stay with grandpa for a few weeks. I had asked you what that was about, but you never told me. But I found out through grandma later on that you went to a spa retreat.”

His mom has stopped messing with the food, and now looks like she’s ready to bail out of there. “Why did you never call me that whole time? Even when I was sick, you never answered your phone for me. You only talked to grandma. Why?” But Grizz doesn’t stop there. Too many memories flood him and he’s finally able to get everything off his chest. “You never came to any of my games even though you were the one that wanted me to play football in the first place. You’d ask me about it, but never been there to support me. You never ask me how day goes or seem to care anymore where I’m off to. I know I’m 18 and an adult, but damn. Most mothers would at least call to check on their kids if they didn’t come home for the night.”

In the midst of letting this all out, he starts crying. It’s not ugly, not yet. Just a few tears escape him before he can blink them away. His mom doesn’t notice. She can’t even look him in the face right now.  
“You never hug me anymore.” Grizz swallows. “I can’t even remember the last time you told me you loved me.”

“I’m,” His mother starts but doesn’t go on. 

Grizz does it for her.

“I’m still here, mom. I didn’t leave when dad did.”

She breaks down then, leans her hands against the counter. “I’m sorry.”

She looks up at him. “I’m so sorry, Gareth. Of course, I love you. I just thought you wanted space.”

Grizz wipes at his eyes. It’s tensely quiet between them before she goes on.

“I guess I gave you too much space.” She steps over to him and wraps her arms around him. They feel skinny and foreign and not like his friend’s or Sam’s at all. But there’s a strength in them that is unrelenting. Memories from before when he has a kid and she held him remind him that this is what it felt like. He missed them. He wraps his arms around her and squeezes every emotion that’s been bottling up between them into it. She squeezes back harder.

They finally talk about dad. Why he really left. Why she didn’t say anything for the longest time. Her fear that Grizz would be even more upset with her. 

“I didn’t know how to talk with anyone after he left. Not even with my own mom.” They’re sitting on the stools now, dinner abandoned in front of them. “He was everything to me. It took me a long time to get over him.” She smiles sadly. “And you reminded me of him so much. You look just like him when he was your age.” 

Grizz listens as she explains and tries not to cry when his mom starts to again. “Right after, I couldn’t even look at you without breaking down crying.”

“I remember.”

“Sometimes I still catch myself actively trying to avoid looking at you. It’s so stupid, but it’s true.” 

Grizz can only hum in reply. 

“I love you, son. I always have and always will. I’m sorry I wasn’t more present with you these past years.”

Grizz’s final response to all this is, “Just. . . can we hang out more? I think I’d like that.”

“Yes, yes, we can. Starting tomorrow. We can go down town and buy some new dress pants for graduation.”

Grizz groans that. “Mom, no.”

“No, I insist. You’re not wearing whatever it is you’ve got picked out up there.” She points up to his room.

Grizz hasn’t heard his mom nag him for so long, he forgets to argue back and just gives in. Which seals his fate that he’ll be wearing dreaded dress pants to graduation. 

He stays up late thinking about what the past years could have been like if he’d have just confronted his mom sooner. He’s also beating himself up for not coming out like he planned to do. But there’s still tomorrow day. He’ll tell her then.

~

It’s awkward and totally out of the blue when he finally does it. It’s also a little funny because it’s in the same shop and dressing room when he came out to Jason and Clark. 

He waits till the employee leaves them. He’s been trying on different colors and styles of pants for the past five minutes and Grizz is just done with it. He strips out of the last ones, a sky blue and fixates on folding them as he starts talking. 

“Mom, there’s something I still need to tell you.” He waits for her undivided attention before going on. She puts down her phone. “You see, I have a,” He hesitates. Why is so hard to admit something to your own parent when everyone else around you already knows. It feels different than when he came out to his friends, but he pushes through. “I have a boyfriend.”

She feigns surprise, it’s so obvious, but she’s committed to still acting like it as she says, “Honey, that’s great. I’m glad you told me.”

“But?”

“I kind of already knew.” She admits and Grizz is baffled. He knew he wasn’t exactly subtle, but he didn’t think she actually paid attention to when he was a little more flirty than he usually is with his friends with Sam when he visited. “You weren’t exactly subtle around Sam at the house. And you guys aren’t exactly quiet.”

Horrified, he shrieks. “Mom!”

“What? Well, now you know to be a little more quiet.”

“Oh my God.” Grizz has dropped the pants in favor of hiding his face in his hands.

“It’s okay, Grizz. Don’t be so embarrassed.” 

He ends up grabbing the first pair he tried on, simple grey ones and makes a beeline for the register. On the drive back home, his mother asks, “You are being safe though, right?”

Mortified, Grizz just says, “Yes.” And hopes she’ll drop it at that. She thankfully does.

~

It is later when they’re eating a late lunch at home, when she asks about Sam. “So Sam, huh? He seems like a nice boy.”

Grizz replies easily, probably sounding too fond, “Yeah. He’s really great.”

“How long have you been dating?”

“A little after we got back from the trip. He actually was rooming with us. Me and my friends. I thought it was going to be a disaster.”

“How so?”

Grizz tells her all about his past worries. How he never really talked with Sam until the trip. How he felt nervous about what his friends thought if they knew he liked him. How he and Sam became friends and then he worried he would be stuck in the friend zone. He also tells her about how he finally asked him out. What happened on their first date. How Luke had figured it out back in the camping trip and was a supportive friend. How he came out to Jason and Clark.

“You came out to them at the same shop we were at?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it like a hot spot for you to come out in?” She jokes.

“Well, you’re the last person. I’ve already come out publicly.”

This seems to make his mom sad which wasn’t what Grizz intended. “I’m sorry you felt you had to wait so long to tell me.” His mom is getting teary eyed again. 

Grizz gives her a hug. “It’s okay, mom.”

Later on, around five o’clock, Grizz gets ready: showers, dresses in his new dress pants that he despises already. It’s okay though, he retaliates by still wearing the flannel. He blows dry his hair (he only does this on special occasions) and reads more of the book Sam gave him. Lately, he’s been too busy to read. Maybe it has something to do with the addition of a boyfriend that subtracted his time for it. It may be.

Grizz and his mom leave around six o’clock because the class has to there early to rehearse a little bit. Afterwards, the seniors hang out in the cafeteria until it’s time. Grizz sits down on top of a table and pulls Sam in for a hug. Becca, who has a camera with her, even on graduation day, snaps a picture of them.

Grizz is mostly excited to graduate. He feels relieved to finally be done with high school. He can’t wait for summer to start; he can almost taste it. 

Sam pulls back a little. Grizz’s hand slide back down to rest on his waist. Sitting down, it’s make Sam the taller one which he seems very smug about as he leans down to give him a quick kiss.

The actual ceremony is like many others Grizz has seen. When the principal and super intendant talk, it’s boring. He gets distracted by glancing at his friends. His last name has him all the way in the back. He doesn’t really pay attention until it’s time for the valedictorian speech. Gordie walks up to the podium a little clumsily, meaning he’s a nervous wreck on the inside. Grizz doesn’t blame him, he’d be to if he tried to give a speech of his own in front of so many people. 

“Good afternoon, everybody,” Gordie starts. He surprises Grizz when he starts to sign as well. And that is just like Gordie to do that for Sam even though there is an interpreter up stage. His speech is beautiful and a few lines stick with him after he finishes and they begin the diploma walk. Grizz grows impatient sitting in his seat so long. But it’s nice to get to watch Sam and his friends walk across the stage. Seeing Sam, a rush of pride runs through him. He laughs when Jason drops his diploma and he has to chase after it and takes him a few tries to pick it up, his foot kicking it further. When it’s Grizz’s line’s turn to stand, he passes by the row where Luke is at the end of and pats him on the back real quick. When it’s his name called, the majority of the audience clap in general, there a few who holler in the stands but the most of the cheering comes from his peers. They all stand up and holler, things like ‘Go Grizz!’ or just simple declarations of cheer. It makes him feel very happy that so many people want to cheer him on. 

When everyone gets there ‘diploma’ (they’re not actually diplomas, they got those earlier in a manila folder), everyone throws their caps in the air. 

And then it’s over. Grizz is officially done with high school.

~

Everyone’s parents usually storm the floor in search of their kid. Grizz is smart though. Him and his mom planned to meet outside. He should go see her first but he’s pulled by an unstoppable force that carries him over to where Sam is. He’s standing alone with Becca and her mom. The Eliot’s are not there yet.

Sam smiles when he sees him and pulls him in for a hug. Campbell is near, but mainly keeps to himself.

“We’re going out for dinner. My dad wanted to know if you and your mom would like to join us. Please say yes.”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

“Why not?”

Grizz admits, “I don’t think your dad likes me. Also, he kind of scares me a little.” 

Becca, who has always had the habit to translate for Sam is doing so and is also laughing at him. “He’s just joking with you, you dork.” 

“Yeah, he likes you just fine. Well?” He gives Grizz puppy dog eyes and his smile that he can’t resist. It makes him weak and easy to give in.

“Alright.”

His parents find them then. 

“Grizz, you joining us for dinner?” His mom asks.

“Yeah, I just got to go find my mom real quick.” 

Sam lets go of his hand, which now that Grizz notices, when did he grab it? It’s like second nature now to be touching him somehow all the time, that he doesn’t even think about it. It’s a nice realization. One that has him breathing easy as he searches for his mom. 

They went to Matteo’s as you probably could have guessed. Also what better way to celebrate graduating than with pizza? Grizz can think of couple things but pizza can still come first. They had to push two tables together for their group. It’s packed; they clearly weren’t the only ones who craved celebratory pizza. Other families with graduates are in booths, one being Luke with his parents and little sister.

They wave at each other and takes turns shooting funny faces until Doug catches his attention when he asks his mom about his name. 

“So is Grizz his first name? How did you come up with it?” He still gives Grizz looks of indifference but at least that’s better than the scowling from before. Grizz can’t figure it out what he did to warrant such unfriendly looks from the man. He doesn’t think he made a bad first impression. Unless prom night wasn’t his first impression on Grizz. Then what could it be? He’d only been over at their house a couple times before that night. Once, to watch movies with Sam and Becca. The other he snuck in after midnight and they stayed up till morning talking and making out. 

Oh my God. 

That must be it. He knows about that. He probably thinks Grizz is a little punk that sneaks around and puts his son up to no good. He probably thinks he’s a bad influence.

Well, Grizz reasons, he did get Sam high for the first time. That’s totally on him, but everyone tries weed at least once in their life. 

While this is all running through Grizz’s head at the most inopportune timing, back to reality, his mom laughs before she tells Doug, “No. Grizz is just a nickname his friends gave him. His first name is Gareth.”

“Ah,” Doug turns to him, “Gareth, can I call you Gareth?” He doesn’t wait for Grizz to reply. “Anyway, are you going to college?”

It’s takes Sam lightly kicking him in the shin to snap out of his thoughts. “Huh? Oh yeah. Yeah, I’m going to UConn.”

This intrigues the man, Grizz can tell. “Ah, same as Sam then. Sam’s told us they have good programs for Agriculture studies and that you like to garden. Is that what you’re going for? To be a farmer or something?”

“Oh, no, I don’t know exactly what I want to do yet, but that is what I’m going for, ag.”

“Hmm,” He considers Grizz with watchful eyes as he takes a sip of his soda. Grizz absentmindedly rubs his hands against his pants that he hates with a passion. 

Everyone else is eating and chatting, oblivious to the stare down Doug is giving him. Grizz averts his away from him to the table, defeated. Underneath the table, a hand finds his left one and gives it a comforting squeeze. Grizz turns his hand over to squeeze back. 

Sam signs to his dad then and Grizz understands most of it, catches dad, stop, and him. There’s only one other sign used, but Grizz gets the gist of it.

His dad sighs into his drink and Grizz is able to catch every word of his reply. **I’m just messing with him.**

They drop it at that and everyone goes back eating. Grizz, confused as fuck, takes a bite of his pizza glancing back and forth between Sam and his dad. So his dad doesn’t really hate him, maybe? Campbell, who had to be dragged into the restaurant by their dad is smirking at him again.

Well, at least somebody is finding this funny.

~

Sam walks with him to his car after they get done eating. His parents, brother, and his mom are still inside, got caught up chatting with another group in there. It’s only nine o’clock but Grizz is yawning. He leans against the car’s hood and Sam stands in front of him. His hands come up to rest on his shoulders. He’d like to pull him in but his dad is just inside the restaurant and could step outside anytime and for some reason he feels uncomfortable touching Sam in front of him or in his vicinity. Maybe that’s what his angle is. Maybe he wants Grizz to keep his hands to himself when he’s around.

Grizz doesn’t know. 

“My dad’s harmless, you know. He just likes to mess with people. It’s probably where Campbell got it.”

He jokes, **You saying you don’t?**

Sam laughs at that and steps closer in between Grizz’s legs. “So, any plans this summer?”

“Not much. Hoping you’re in it though.” He signs it also. It’s cheesy, but it’s the truth and Sam seems like it anyway.

“Wow, what a line. I thought I was the one with cheesy answers.” 

Grizz laughs, “Yeah, it just came to me naturally. I think you’re rubbing off on me.”

“You know, you’re getting better at sign.” 

“Thank you. I have a good teacher.”

Sam chuckles and leans down to kiss him, his lips slotting perfectly against his. Same with everything else, it’s as easy as breathing with Sam. Grizz sometimes gets overwhelmed, feeling like his heart could jump out. He knows what’s causing it but it’s been tough to acknowledge. They are young and only been together for almost two months. He doesn’t know if Sam feels the same, but he needs to let him know. He wants him to know.

“Hey, can you teach me something real quick?”

His eyebrows raise, waiting. “How do you say ‘I love you’?”

It takes Sam a moment before his body starts. “Really? Are you sure?”

The reply is totally not what he expected, makes him laugh. **Of course.**

Sam bites his lip and looks down at his hands laying in his lap. He reaches for one and fixes his fingers to make the sign. “That’s it.”

“Well, that’s an easy one.” He holds it up for Sam to see who is rapidly blinking like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. Tears bead along his bottom eyelids. For a second, he thinks he might of done something wrong or maybe it’s too soon and Sam’s not ready for that. He puts his hand down. Sam watches it fall before looking back up at him, with intense eyes. His tongue pokes out, wetting his bottom lip. He leans in for another kiss, there’s so much passion from him behind it, it knocks the breath out of Grizz. His tongue lightly swipes across the crease of his and Grizz lets him deepen it, his dad long forgotten about. One of his hands has found it’s way in Grizz’s hair and tugs on it gently. It’s sends a shiver from his skull down his neck. He moans into the kiss. 

When they finally part, Grizz takes a much needed breath. “We’re still in public, you know. I didn’t think you were much into pda.”

“It was the heat of the moment,” He says.

Grizz snorts at that. 

“Hey.” Grizz looks back up at Sam. He signs it but hearing the words is what really affects him. “I love you too.” It comes out pure and honest from him and Grizz has no doubts that he means it. 

~

Inside the restaurant, Luke has left the table in hopes to catch Grizz before he leaves to ask him something. He sees his mom and Sam’s family but the two in question are not in here anymore. Becca is standing by the entrance, texting on her phone. Which Luke has a good feeling it’s Clark. He has a six sense for his friend’s crushes and Clark is not immune. He leans close to one of the windows, his hands cupping his eyes to see outside. The parking lot is lit by a few street lights and he easily spots them by his car. 

They look to be in an intense conversation, in a good way, Luke is sure. Sam is doing something with Grizz’s hand. “Becca, come look.”

“Huh?” She looks up from her phone. “What is it?”

“Hurry,” He urges, waving her over. 

She huffs and stands beside him. “What’re they doing? What’s that mean?”

She sounds shocked when she says, “It means I love you.”

Luke gapes at his friend. Then they kiss and a rush of pride hits him. Proud for his friend. Proud he’s happy. Happy he’s in love. He wishes nothing but the best for him. Becca awes beside him. 

“What are you looking at, Luke?” It’s Grizz’s mom’s voice behind him, but he doesn’t turn around. She comes up to look out beside him. 

Becca leans back from the window, searches around in her purse. “What the hell is my camera?” Sam leans back and does the same sign. “You’re missing it. Sam just said it back,” He tells her.

“What?” She shrieks and smacks her head back on the glass. That grabs the attention of Sam’s parents now, who look outside in time to see Sam still holding up the sign. 

He mumbles, mostly to himself, but he’s pretty sure Becca hears him, “Correction: That, is now the cutest shit I’d ever seen.” 

~

Grizz opens his arms for a hug which Sam leans into. They stay like that for a minute, holding each other. This is now the best hug between them. Grizz could live in this moment forever. Sam’s arms and chest are warm against his shoulders and face. It’s hard to stop so he doesn’t for the longest minute of his life. But eventually they pull apart and share matching elated smiles. 

The heat of the moment (Sam’s words) finally starts to cool down, a calm comfortable quiet settling between them. His head finally clears enough to realize they’re still alone out here. It’s been ten minutes, and there’s still no sign of their families. “Where is everybody?” Grizz asks and they turn to look back at the restaurant to see their families plus one Becca and Luke standing behind the windows, awing at them, Doug included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here, the last chapter! I finally sat down last night and this morning to edit it and I believe it's ready. Honestly this is probably the best yall are going to get out of me. I started this back in July. I'm happy but also kind of sad. Like it's been so much fun writing this, I don't really want it to end. I hope it can make a few people smile.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! And I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes for the first chapter: I’ve never gone camping in big crowds where it’s not my family so this is solely written on how I think this trip would be like. And I was thinking to myself, that’s a lot of kids to do two-person tents so I kind of made it cabin style but with big tents! Also, I looked up the distance between Connecticut and (in general) the Great Smoky Mountains, and that’s like a 12 hour car ride.
> 
> Notes for the second chapter: And I’ve never been to a prom, so I’ve used what I seen from movies for that. And as for the graduation, I went off what actually happens in my area, because I have never seen an actual graduation out on a lawn in broad daylight. (That’s right, I’m calling you out, Hollywood!) I googled many things while writing this such as: what kind of colleges in Connecticut would be best for Agriculture, what city has a mall and an ice rink (never been to West Hartford btw), more general knowledge on sign language, and a bunch of definitions on words.


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